Popcorn, a charmed fanfic | FanFiction
Ben: "Next question for one hundred dollars. Who owns Cash Cab?"
Me: "Um…Not me?"
Ben: "Correct! Who owns Charmed?"
Me: "OhhOhh. ME!"
Chris: "What? No. Not you. God not you."
Me: "Oh well…it was worth a try."
Ben: "Strike three and you know what that means. Good bye!"
Chris: "Great. Look what you did. Now we have to walk to Italy."
Me: "Oops."
Okay an entirely pointless fic that wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I was watching Cash Cab and it just kinda forced its way in.
It also helped with a mild case of Writers block for The Other Side. For anyone who is reading that I'm just having trouble with what I want to happen in the next chapter but it's comin together.
Any and all mistakes are mine.
Anyhoo…it may be pointless but you can still Review! Cause you're great when you do. (And if you're weird like me you realized that rhymed…kinda or not)
So Enjoy and don't forget Review :)
Chris sprinted down the alley after the fleeing black figures. Wyatt thundered behind him yelling obscenities at the power stealing demons they were chasing. They rounded the corner losing sight of the demons.
"Where'd they go? Where'd they freakin' go?" Wyatt demanded looking this way and that.
"I don't know," Chris answered pulling out the scrying crystal. "Give me the map."
Wyatt grumbled, rummaging around the bag to find the map. "Freaking demons steal our orbing then take off on a stupid goose chase. Good thing they can't use it…" He handed Chris the map watching impatiently as Chris scryed with a dagger. "Where'd they go this time…let me guess, Italy right?"
"No," Chris said annoyed. "They're still in New York. Thank god or we'd be screwed." He pointed to their position on the map.
"Alright, let's go," Wyatt said clapping his brother on the shoulder.
"What? Wy they're here," Chris repeated tapping the map. "And we're," he struggled with the paper unfolding it more and pointing to another spot, "here."
"So?"
"They're in Manhattan. We are in Brooklyn. That's a long way to walk," said Chris.
"Well what do you want me to do about it? I can't shrink New York. Someone would notice."
Chris rolled his eyes. "A cab, Wy, can we get a cab?"
"Oh," Wyatt said blinking, "Right, yeah we can get a cab. I've got money."
Chris rolled his eyes again as his brother bounced to the edge of the street waving his arms to get a taxi.
Fifteen minutes later Wyatt managed to acquire a yellow car to take them where they needed to go. Wyatt pulled him into the car and rattled off the destination. The driver grunted something and Wyatt furrowed his brow in confusion. "Uh…what? I didn't catch that."
" Wh' 'o ay," the man grunted his thick accent muddling the words.
Chris chuckled raising his eyebrows in amusement at his brother's harried expression. Despite their time sensitive mission he was inclined to let Wy hang for a bit.
"I'm sorry. I don't," Wyatt floundered, "I don't understand you."
"Whe'e 'o ga."
Wyatt looked flustered, for all his twice blessed powerfulness he couldn't understand a man with an accent.
Chris full out laughed now. "He wants you to repeat the destination, Wy," he gasped out taking pity on the blonde.
"Oh," Wyatt said, "We uh—"
Lights suddenly flashed around the cab with a loud ringing noise. Chris jumped, nearly orbing, if he'd had his power, through the car. As it was he settled for an extremely unhappy expression as the cab driver straightened up and announced in an overly loud voice: "Welcome to the Cash Cab! It's a TV game show that takes place right here in my taxi cab."
Chris watched as Wyatt's expression turned from shocked to ecstatic in moments. "Oh my god, oh my god! Chris do you know what this is?" he asked awed.
Chris crossed his arms and scowled. "No, but I have a feeling one of you is going to tell me," he stated looking from his brother to the show host.
"Hullo, my name's Ben Bailey and I'll be your game show host. What are your names?" the host asked/shouted twisting around in his seat to look at his passengers.
Wyatt leaned forward eagerly. "Name's Wyatt and this is my brother, Chris."
"Nice to meet you Wyatt, that's a funny name, and Chris," the host said. "As I said this is the cash cab. I'll be asking you general knowledge questions all the way to your destination. Answer correctly and you win cash, answer wrong and you get a strike. Three strikes and I have to kick you out. You get a mobile or street shout-out for help. What do you say…do you want to play?"
"Yes!" Wyatt shouted.
The host started the car forward stopping at Chris's quiet objection, "Wait."
Wyatt turned to him surprised, "What—"
"You said we get three strikes and you have to kick us out?" Chris asked.
"That's right," the host shouted/answered. "Three strikes and I have to let you go."
Chris nodded. "Right," he said reaching for the door handle.
"What are you doing?" Wyatt sputtered appalled.
Chris raised his eyebrows and pointed at the driver. "Savin' him from driving a block."
Wyatt rolled his eyes. "Oh puulease. Give us some credit. We'd make it father than a block."
Chris snorted. "Fine…Save him from drivin' two. And don't forget about the demonstration." He yanked on the handle, opening the door and stepping out.
"Nooooo," Wyatt yelled dragging his brother bodily back into the car and slamming the door shut. "Come on Chris the demonstration can wait…this is like a once in a lifetime opportunity."
Chris stared at him slack jawed. "It's a game show," he said enunciating the words. "A stupid game show."
"It's not stupid. It's based on trivia. How could it be stupid?" Wyatt countered.
"Ooh," the host said in his best game show voice, "there seems to be some inter-sibling conflict."
Chris sent the host his best 'really?' expression. "Dude, commentary not needed."
"Come on Chris, please? It doesn't matter what cab we take to get to the demonstration, it will take the same amount of time, we just have more fun this way, " Wyatt begged giving Chris his best puppy dog look.
Chris frowned at him. "You know that doesn't work. It just makes me want to kick you."
"Fine," Wyatt said petulantly. He was silent for a moment then he brightened. "I'll do your chores for a week," he said.
"Ooh and out come the bribes," the host announced.
Chris scoffed at him, before turning back to his brother. "My chores for a month and you clean the room…thoroughly."
Wyatt grinned. "I'll do the chores for two weeks, tidy up the room, and watch the cousins for a month."
"Chores for three weeks, clean the room, and watch the cousins for three weeks."
"Chores for two and half weeks, watch the cousins for two, and tidy the room and the bathroom."
"Done," Chris said.
"So," shouted the host. Was he always going to shout? "Does this mean you're playing?"
"Yep!" Wyatt said happily, grinning like a fool.
The driver shot Chris a critical look. "Never seen anyone need to be bribed to play," he commented. "So, what's this demonstration of?"
Chris just rolled his eyes not inclined to answer. "Uh…martial arts," Wyatt said.
The cabbie nodded pulling away from the curb. "Alright, questions start out at twenty-five dollars. First question. What percentage of the average human brain is water?"
Wyatt eyes widened and he turned to Chris.
"What makes you think I know?" Chris demanded.
"Well you're the science geek."
"Well you're the game show geek."
"Five seconds," the driver said/shouted.
Wyatt poked Chris in the arm. "Guess something," he hissed.
Chris rolled his eyes. "Seventy percent."
"Ooh, no," said Ben.
Chris shot Wyatt a told you so look.
"The corrected answer is eighty percent. Strike one. Two more and I'll have to kick you out," the host said. "Alright next question. Also a simple card game, what is the term for a kernel of popcorn that remains un-popped?"
Chris raised his eyebrows and shrugged. Wyatt began mouthing words silently.
"Oh I know this, I know this. Go Fish? No. War? No. Uh. Kings Corner no…OOH…Old Maid!" he shouted triumphantly.
"Ow…I need my eardrums, Wy."
"Yes! You have won twenty five dollars! Next question. In the Hans Christian Andersen story, what tiny item did the Princess feel through a stack of mattresses?"
"A pea," Wyatt answered.
"I don't want to know how you knew that," Chris remarked.
"Yes again! And you're up to fifty bucks! In Bill Waterson's popular comic strip, what is the name of Calvin's stuffed tiger?"
Wyatt wrinkled his face as Chris answered bluntly, "Hobbes."
The host smiled hugely. "Correct! That's seventy five dollars. Let's get you more. These next questions are worth fifty dollars each and they're a little bit harder."
"Great," Chris muttered.
"Alright. What chairman of Microsoft allegedly receives about four million e-mails a day?"
Chris shrugged. "Mr. Apple?" he said suggested sarcastically.
"No, Chris. I don't even think that's a real person," Wyatt answered deep in thought. Chris rolled his eyes at him.
"Five seconds," the host said.
"Uh…Bill Gates," Wyatt guessed.
"Correct you are. Next question. A wiccan practitioner without a coven is known as what?"
Chris arched his eyebrows and answered: "A solitary witch."
"Oooh…yes! That's a hundred seventy five dollars. In Greek mythology, who was the queen of the underworld and wife of Hades?
"Persephone," the boy said in unison.
"Correct!" yelled the host.
"Guess it's a good thing we just watched that Percy Jackson movie huh?" Wyatt whispered.
"I'm still plotting your murder for that."
"Next question. What is the meaning of the Latin word veto?"
Chris actually smiled. "I forbid," he said.
"Yeeeess! Now you have two hundred seventy five dollars. These next questions are worth a hundred dollars each and they're a little bit harder. Opposite of waning, when the moon is growing in size it is said to be what?"
"Waxing," Wyatt said. Any witch worth their salt knew that.
"Correct. In 1912, the crew of the Carpathia helped assist the survivors of what nautical disaster?"
Wyatt looked lost.
"Oh come on Wy. It's Titanic," Chris huffed.
"YEEEESSS! You're up to four hundred seventy five dollars…and we have a red light challenge!" The host twisted around in his seat. "A red light challenge is a multiple answer question. If you get all the answers you get five hundred dollars, if you don't get the answers you don't lose anything or get a strike. You have thirty seconds from the time I finish asking the question. Are you ready?"
"Yes!" Wyatt hollered. Chris winced. Seriously what was with shouting?
"Alright! Individuals who have the ability to use magic have many titles. Name five of the most generic terms used to label these individuals."
Chris shot Wyatt an 'are you kidding me?' look.
"Witch," said Wyatt immediately.
"Warlock, um, sorcerer," Wyatt said, "um…"
"Shaman," Chris said.
"You got 'em! The only one you didn't say was magician," the host said. "We have more questions and still a ways to get to your destination. Next question. Reportedly, Bill Clinton used what poet's "Leaves of Grass" to woo both Hillary and Monica?"
"Ahhh...," Wyatt said, "Poetry not my strong point. Chris?"
Chris frowned, "Snowball in Hell if I know."
"Well just name a poet."
"Robert Frost."
"Ohhh no….the answer is Walt Whitman. Strike two. Remember you can use a shout out if you're stumped," the host said.
"Oh right," Wyatt said.
"Next question. What famous book begins with 'Chug, chug, chug. Puff, puff, puff'?"
Chris raised his eyebrows smirking at his brother. "Shout out?" he suggested.
Wyatt blushed and shook his head. "Uh, no. It's The Little Engine that Could," he said coughing slightly.
"It is indeed, that's one thousand seventy five dollars now!"
Chris regarded Wyatt mockingly, "Oooh guess your reading level did come in handy."
Wyatt glared at him. "Preston reads it every time she's at the manor and it just stuck, ok."
"Whatever you say Wy. Whatever you say."
The cabbie cleared his throat. "Next question. How was the dish we know as chicken a la king first listed when it was added to the menu at New York's Delmonico's restaurant in the 1880's?"
Chris smiled answering easily. He was the son of a chef after all. "As chicken a la Keene. It was named in honor of Foxhall Keene, a regular at Delmonico's."
"He wants an answer not a lecture, Chris," Wyatt quipped.
"Lecture or not, he's right. You two are racking up your dough. And here's your next question, what movie's cast from the 1900's included 124 midgets?"
" The 1939 version of The Wizard of Oz starring Judy Garland. The midgets played Munchkins," Wyatt responded quickly. "What, I like movies," he added at Chris's chuckle.
"Excellent. What was used to power the engines of the starship Enterprise in the Star Trek television series?"
"Antimatter," replied Chris.
"Correct!"
"Geek," Wyatt muttered.
"Which of TV's Golden Girls was the oldest—Beatrice Arthur, Estelle Getty, Rue McClanahan, or Betty White?"
Chris arched his eyebrows looking at Wyatt. "Well?"
Wyatt shrugged, "I have no idea. Guess?"
"Nooo genius," Chris said condescendingly, "shout-out."
"Okay! And they're using a shout-out. Mobile or street?" Ben asked/shouted.
"We could call Pheebs," Chris suggested.
"Ha, no. She's a horror movie expert, not sitcoms. So street," Wyatt said.
The driver pulled over and rolled down the window. Wyatt leaned out gesturing at the nearest person.
Chris leaned over and smacked his hand. "No not him. Go away you. Ooh get her, the old lady," Chris said. "Excuse me, ma'am. Hello? Yo Grandma! Come here, please."
The old lady looked scandalized but walked over anyway. Wyatt shoved Chris back in the car. "Sorry 'bout him," Wyatt said. "He's a bit insensitive. We need your help, cause were on Cash Cab."
The woman's expression smoothed and she smiled. "Ooh I love that show."
"Yeah it is great, isn't it. With all the—"
"Wyatt! The question."
"Oh right, Um which of the TV's Golden Girls was the oldest?" Wyatt asked.
"Oh my, I love that show. The oldest was Betty White. Love her character. You know my name is the same as…"
"Thanks Granny. Betty White," Chris repeated to the host.
"Correct! A successful shout-out," the host said pulling away from the curb.
"Thank you," Wyatt shouted out the window as the driver sped away with screeching tires.
"Next question, and we're nearing your destination. How many different animal shapes are there in the "Animal Crackers" cookie zoo?"
"Oooh…Eighteen!" Wyatt squealed. Yes…squealed.
"And you would know that how?" Chris asked.
"I'm observant."
"No. You're not."
"Eighteen is correct! In what theory did Eisenhower suggest that if one country falls to communism, the country next to it would follow suit?"
" The Domino Theory," Chris said.
"Absolutely. Last question," the host said, "how many flowers are in the design stamped on each side of an Oreo cookie?"
Wyatt's jaw dropped.
"That's right! And we're here," the driver said parking.
"And you knew that how?" Wyatt asked echoing Chris's earlier statement.
Chris's smirk grew. "I'm observant."
Wyatt frowned. "Okay," Chris relented, "unfortunate side effect of Saturday detention and an Oreo addicted best friend."
Ben cleared his throat. "Alright. You two have won quite a bit of cash. One thousand seven hundred seventy five dollars. Now you can take it and leave or risk it all, double or nothing, for a Video Bonus question. What do you say?"
"We'll leave," Chris said hand already on the door.
"What? No Chris, come on," Wyatt whined again.
"Wyatt, remember the demonstration."
"It'll take all of two minutes," Wyatt pleaded.
Chris sighed, "Fine."
"Okay! Watch the screen," Ben said.
Chris huffed looking to the screen. It darkened some movie clip beginning to play. Chris had focused his attention on it when he noticed two people running down the street they were on.
"Ahh," he said, "Time to go."
"What?" Wyatt asked stupidly. "We can't go. The movie's not over."
"Wyatt," Chris snapped whacking his brother on the head, "It's them. The demo—ahh…the demonstrators. The demonstrators. We have to go." He clambered over his brother.
"Ow! Damnit Chris. Watch your feet," Wyatt yelped.
Chris escaped the taxi taking off full speed down the sidewalk.
"Uh," Wyatt said. "Nevermind. Changed our minds about the video thing. I'll just take that and go," he said snatching the money out of Benny's hand and flying after his brother. "Chris wait up!"
Ben blinked after them before turning to one of his camera people. "Alright. And that is why they call it New York."
Chris ran after the demons feet thudding on the concrete. He could hear Wyatt's footsteps thundering behind him. "Oi you stupid demons! Stop running already!" he shouted oblivious to the odd stares they were attracting from street people.
The demons sped faster turning into a park. They dodged about the trees like squirrels, sprinting through the grassy area. Chris growled in frustration forcing himself to run faster. He caught up finally taking off from a rock to tackle one of the demons. He landed with an ompfhh hearing Wyatt execute a flying tackle of his own.
Chris twisted the demon's arm around its back and wacked it a good one on the back of the head. A couple times for good measure. He huffed sitting back and met the eyes of two teenage girls who were just staring at him. "Oh," he said pushing back his sweaty hair, "Um this isn't what it looks like. Purse thief…uh belongs to my grandmother, can't have her losing her dentures…not pretty..um."
"Yeah," Wyatt chimed in. "Not good guys these two. Nope. Not at all."
The girls backed away terrified and took off screaming bloody murder across the ground.
"Uh oh," Wyatt said.
Chris nodded. "Yeah, uh time to go." He slid the power stealing athame from the now unconscious demon's belt stabbing it into him without hesitation. Immediately he felt his own powers returning. He tossed the blade to Wyatt as the demon burned to dust. Wyatt vanquished his demonic thief just as the girls reached a group of people and began gesturing wildly in their direction.
"Hmm. We should go yes?" said Wyatt.
"Nahh. What gave you that idea," Chris replied ducking behind a tree to orb out.
When the police finally made it over ten minutes late, all they found was dirt.
A long time later…
Phoebe stared in shock at the TV as she watched her two nephews climb into the Cash Cab.
"Piper!" she yelled. "Get in here now!"
"What is it Phoebe? I was in the middle of…Holy Crap. What are my boys doing on TV?" she demanded homicidally.
"It's Cash Cab! Phoebe exclaimed excitedly. "You didn't tell me they were on Cash Cab."
Piper glowered at her. "Maybe because I DIDN'T KNOW!"
"Sheesh no need to scream at me."
Piper sighed. "No I guess not." She sat down. "I'll kill them later. Phoebe?"
"Yes Piper?"
"Go make some popcorn."