Eurovision 2015 Final - nul points for you if you read any other live blog - Telegraph
Eurovision
Eurovision 2015 Final - nul points for you if you read any other live blog
As it happened: with Sweden crowned winners, relive every glitter cannon, key    change and flag wave of the Eurovision Song Contest 2015
Charlotte Runcie and Siobhan Palmer
1:35AM BST 24 May 2015
• Awkward: Australia gives UK nul points
01:35 Thank you and goodnight!
I'm going to wrap up this liveblog now, but what an evening we've all had. Thank you for being with us every step of the way with your jokes, snacks and offers of gin. It's been a blast and Siobhan and I couldn't have done it without you. Douze points to us all. The creepiness of Armenia will stay with us for a long time, I fear.
Goodnight Europe, and see you next year in Sweden!
01:01 Sweden speaks
Måns Zelmerlöw has been giving a post-final press conference in Vienna. Here's what he had to say about the win:
"It was absolutely amazing. I didn't hear it when they first said it - Christer Björkman told me a few second later. I thought Russia or Italy would win it. But then I did it, and I was so happy. My feelings are now all over the place. I am so proud, so excited, so full of joy."
Awww. Some Swedes have been celebrating in understated national style on social media too:
Good result innit. #Eurorvision2015
— Emma Lofgren (@ekjlofgren) May 23, 2015
Sweden has now mathematically won Eurovision already. Yay us!
— Endigo - NEW MV OUT! (@EndigoDarkBad) May 23, 2015
What a night. Well done, Sweden. You were magnificent.
00:27 Poor Austria
OK so the UK didn't do particularly well - we came 24th, with a total of only five points - but Austria were the hosts, and they came away with nul points. Their song was boring, sure, but that's got to hurt.
00:18 Did Sweden deserve to win? Did the UK deserve to do so badly?
So, what do you think? Did Sweden deserve it? Were Australia robbed? Should Russia have taken the prize? Vote in our poll and let us know what you think .
Twitter reaction to Electro Velvet's failure has ranged from sympathetic to optimistic, via furious.
I am pretty sad for @ElectroVelvet and @BojanaStamenov , though. Both acts were outstanding: my favorites. #Eurovision
— Megan Engelhardt (@MadMerryMeg) May 23, 2015
Australia bears the Union Jack, so technically UK's in the top 10... congrats, @ElectroVelvet #Eurovision
— Eray Kurtoglu (@ErayTheDoughnut) May 23, 2015
@ElectroVelvet I'm still in love with you
— Mr L (@LMac1970) May 23, 2015
Maybe Nigella should perform our song next year.
00:04 Revelations time
As the clock ticks over into tomorrow, breaking news about our winner. He has said some slightly unsavoury things about gay rights in the past, but apologised in... startling fashion.
@underwood_jack he apologised for it I think. And then did this at a gay gala pic.twitter.com/CHyMaoeNFs
— Katherine Lovage (@KatherinePurr) May 23, 2015
23:58 The trophy is handed over
23:55 Sweden celebrate winning!
And a hug between Måns Zelmerlöw and Conchita before Måns makes a touching statement about everyone being heroes, no matter who we are or who we love. I think he's going to perform again, which is a bit awkward because I promised the Telegraph news desk this was all going to be over ages ago.
Måns could be forgiven for anything though.
(Italy have ensured that I still get my winnings-funded holiday, too, so I'm thrilled all round.)
23:48 The votes continue
Even though we know that Sweden have won, there are still more votes to come in. This is exhausting. Thankfully, strangers on Twitter have started offering me gin.
This isnt how I thought Eurovision would end, but I'm glad we're all here together. Building bridges.
23:44 Sweden win!
Sweden have won! A victory for gay rights and leather trousers, all over the world!
Here he is again, in all his beautiful glory. One of the tightest Eurovisions in living memory, but still not as tight as those glorious trousers.
23:40 News from Australia
Flynn Murphy has checked in with another report from his suburban Australian house party:
"With Australia and Belgium continually pipping each other in the race to the top five, the crowd's ironic detachment has given way to full-throated cheering interspersed with a nascent kind of anti-Belgian nationalism. Sledges like "What even is Belgium?" when they're up, and "Belgium are just crying into their bloody waffles now" when they're down. Many here will now see a top five spot as a win."
23:37 Australia holding strong
Here's Australia's Guy Sebastian waiting for the results to roll in. Probably not going to win, but have they done enough to be allowed to compete again?
23:33 NIGELLA ALERT
There's Nigella, in a gorgeous spiky brooch, speaking German like the absolute goddess she is. We give 8 points to Italy, 10 to Australia, and 12 to Sweden, pushing them into the lead.
Oh well, it was fun while I thought I was winning.
23:25 Polina is crying
It looks as if Polina may have won this for Russia, and I'm off to sunny Mexico with my winnings after all.
Here's a teary Polina. This obviously means a huge amount to her.
23:21 No
Oh, dear sweet Caroline. No, darling. No.
Can the UK still win? #Eurovision2015
— Caroline Frost (@Frostalicus) May 23, 2015
And here come the votes from Australia, for the first (and possibly last) time ever! Twelve points for Sweden from them, lengthening Sweden's lead over them. Poor Austria, the hosts, have nul points so far, which is a bit of a shame, but even a burning piano couldn't save the dirge they entered.
23:18 Ireland give the UK 1 point
Oh come on Ireland, we were worth more than that. We're still beating Germany though. Where is your "football" now, Germany?
23:14 Russia taking the lead
Now may be the time to confess that I put my bets on a few days ago. Let's just say if Russia win and Italy come in the top four, I'm going on holiday.
Australia are doing all right but it doesn't look as if they're going to get the big prize.
A word from my former colleague Ed Cumming, now, once of this parish:
Enjoying the ICBM trajectory Eurovision graphic. Very Never Say Never Again pic.twitter.com/MjXbxEJgeX
— Ed Cumming (@edcumming) May 23, 2015
23:06 Still only one point for the United Kingdom
I've got to be honest, it's not looking wonderful for us so far, but thanks to Malta at least we're not stuck on nul points. It's extremely tight at the top of the scoreboard - a straight fight between Russia, Italy and Sweden so far.
Plenty of the people giving the scores look a bit like they haven't slept in weeks. Have they been kept in some kind of Eurovision dungeon?
23:04 The scoreboard so far
Here's a shot of the scoreboard, for those of you watching without a live TV stream (I know there are some of you in the comments - in some ways, I envy you).
23:01 An early lead for the favourites
Italy, Russia and Sweden take their positions at the top of the leaderboard early on. Suzy from Portugal has a bit of a 'mare with their connection, and Belarus's envoy is the guy who sang their awful Eurovision song about cheesecake last year! I haven't forgotten, Belarus. I will never forget your terrible cheesecake song.
22:56 Let's have the votes!
Right, the votes are coming in, starting with Montenegro, in a frankly eye-opening black and flesh-toned sparkly outfit. Favourites Sweden get 5, while Russia get 7 and Italy get 6. But the twelve points go to Serbia, a late favourite.
I won't be going through every country's votes in forensic detail, by the way, because I don't want my fingers to become bloodied stumps. Let's keep it light.
22:50 Some more Twitter reaction
We're doing Eurovision ....!! Half baked love Bake Off team x pic.twitter.com/IDafVjOnLM
— Paul Hollywood (@PaulHollywood) May 23, 2015
The song says peace, but the eyes say: "Putin is holding my family hostage unless I sing!" #Eurovision2015 pic.twitter.com/hHF3xOUDhn
Conchita is performing her new song now, with a rather natty cropped hairdo, and I am extremely jealous of her figure. Worth having a beard for, if that's the trade she made with the devil.
22:38 Nigella Awesome
Friends, I have such a treat for you. The person delivering the UK's votes for us this year is none other than Nigella Lawson.
The reason? Because it's Eurovision. Nothing makes sense here. Embrace it, love it, leave your family behind.
22:35 What is happening part 2
Austria are just showing off their new musical genre they've invented: Drum 'n' Brass.
Wait can these percussion guys win #Eurovision2015 . I vote for them.
— Hayes Brown (@HayesBrown) May 23, 2015
22:30 What is happening
This interval act is condensing everything amazing about Austria into one giant arena. There are horns, grannies, people making heart shapes with their arms, choirs, extensive percussion, and what looks like the entire population of Europe waving flags, singing and looking serious. My invite obviously got lost in the post.
22:27 Who's going to win?
While the interval act gets going and rapidly becomes the most alpine thing anyone has ever seen, we asked on Twitter whether any of you fabulous Eurovision folk thought Russia could win. Here are some of your thoughts...
@Telegraph_TV @Telegraph @charlotteruncie very beautiful voice, song, performance, but no...
— Laman Hashimli (@LamanHashimli) May 23, 2015
@Telegraph_TV @Telegraph @charlotteruncie well, she hasn't got a beard, so it's a plus.
BBC Springwatch has plenty to say about the acts, especially Georgia:
That's the worst raven impression we've ever seen. @bbceurovision
— BBC Springwatch (@BBCSpringwatch) May 23, 2015
And Tessa Jowell is capitalising on the occasion:
Voting for #Eurovision2015 is great. Voting for Labour's next Mayoral candidate is AMAZING! Sign up: http://t.co/ukEfDlWYmZ
— Tessa Jowell (@TessaJowell) May 23, 2015
22:12 Italy
And for the finale, it’s Italy! Il Volo is an easy-on-the-eyes all-male pop opera trio very much in the style of Il Divo, with a dollop of cheeky swagger borrowed from the likes of One Direction. They’re singing Grande Amore, a belting operatic number entirely in Italian, in front of a backdrop of enormous, moodily lit classical statues.
This might be the most Italian thing that has ever happened. This performance is the logical conclusion of the Renaissance. If Leonardo Da Vinci’s time machine had worked and he was able to travel to 2015 and watch this performance, he would be deeply moved.
Poor old Italy - Grande Amore is a belter of a song but it’s crippled by being placed last in the running order. Nobody is still watching at this point apart from you and me, dear reader, and I lost my mind long ago.
Fun fact about Italy: they didn’t compete in Eurovision at all between 1998 and 2010, for no official reason other than that they didn’t particularly fancy it.
I love Italy. I love that they sing in Italian and are almost too fabulous for Eurovision. God speed, Italy. DODICI PUNTI.
22:07 Albania
We’re almost there, folks. Here’s Albania, singing a song called “I’m Alive”, which isn’t particularly appropriate to how I feel right now.
Elhaida Dani struggled in the semis, somehow managing to sing every note in existence at once and also none of them, but she makes a good fist of this. You have to pity her coming straight after the roof-raising Russia. She doesn't even have a glowing dress.
22:04 Russia
Russia’s song is an example of an entry that didn’t really stand out before the live performances began, but as soon as their singer, the drop-dead gorgeous Polina Gagarina, took to the stage in her huge light-up white dress and absolutely nailed the high notes in her soaring ballad A Million Voices in the first semi-final, bookies reported a surge of bets that she’d win the whole thing outright.
People may not be too fond of Russia's human rights record, but this is a song about peace, so good on them I suppose.
Harry reports from the arena that nobody is booing this time and the crowd seem to genuinely love Polina.
Good grief. Are we heading to Sochi next year?
22:00 Azerbaijan
Azerbaijan has been sliding up the betting since the semis and they could in theory stand a chance here - they throw everything at Eurovision and this is catchy enough, despite the slighty strange primeval crawling from the backing dancers, under a blood red moon. Are we finally seeing the true results of the curse cast by Armenia, all those songs ago?
These human-spider dancers are going to prey on me in my sleep for years to come. Please do not vote for them.
21:55 Georgia
Georgia is here to terrify you into staying awake until the bitter end. She looks as if she's escaped from the Night's Watch in Game of Thrones. I'm too scared to be mean about her so all I'll say is that she looks like I wished I looked back when I was an emo teenager. Black feather shoulder-piece, thigh-high leather boots, fearsome eyeliner, and a gloriously angry face. She is the queen of teen goths across Europe, so let's hope she can count on their votes.
Everyone should dress like this.
21:51 Hungary
As we’re coming to the end of the night, it’s time to be brutal. This is all very nice but I was surprised it even qualified. It goes absolutely nowhere. I want my Spanish Eighties disco back.
Though maybe I should retract that, as I've just had a text from my mum, who says she loves them. She says they remind her of the folk scene in the Sixties, and she was there for that the first time around. But is my mum, erstwhile Sixties flower child, an accurate Eurovision barometer?
21:47 Spain
Edurne for Spain now. The quality acts are stacking up and Armenia just seems like a distant, terrible memory. I have a real soft spot for Spain's song - it feels very “classic” Eurovision. As if we could, at any moment, be transported to an Eighties disco.
Harry Wallop reports from the arena:
"Massive contingent of Spaniards in the crowd. Almost outnumbering the Aussies. They are waiting to be blown away by their wind machine-powered anthem."
21:43 Romania
Ah now Romanian is a beautiful language and it’s nice to hear Voltaj going for it here. I mean, it’s not going to win (one of them would need to be in a white dress, at the very least, for that to happen) but this is all very dreamy and relaxing. Oh and it’s all about children. This is beautiful!
Why do so many Eurovision songs call for white pianos? Maybe white pianos are just really fashionable these days. I don't pretend to keep up with the whims and fancies of modern piano trends.
Here's the Eurovision final 2015 in pictures , so far, if you're already keen to relive the spectacle. Some crackers in there.
21:40 Latvia
Now this is good fun. Edgy, folky… it's just a shame that it's called Love Injected. Maybe Electro Velvet's lyricist wasn't that bad after all.
I can sort of imagine this being sung by Katy Perry, but less well. Or sung better by FKA Twigs. But the fact that we're even comparing her to contemporary musicians is a pretty good sign, surely.
21:34 Poland
Last year Poland’s entry was a bunch of sexy, butter-churning milkmaids, which is a difficult act to follow, frankly. This year it’s all a bit more demure and serious and sad, and rather beautiful. Billowing pink silk. A piano. Figures in white. How long has this been going on? Are we in Eurovision heaven?
21:31 Germany
High drama behind this German entry. Like any sensible country (i.e. not the UK), Germany picks its Eurovision entry using an X-Factor-style televised competition, and this year the winner was a chap named Andreas Kümmert. But he suddenly backed out, live on stage, just after he was named the champion. So the runner up was sent instead.
And here she is: Ann Sophie, singing Black Smoke. It’s nice and non-cheesy, but it’s been a bit overshadowed by all the controversy. I actually really like it, in a Girls Aloud circa 2009 sort of way. But it’s a bit sub-Norway. Remember Norway? Happier times.
21:28 More art!
Here's some more lovely instant Eurovision art, to keep us going.
My main impression of Sweden #Eurorvision2015 pic.twitter.com/8notgPab0F
— SydneyPadua (@sydneypadua) May 23, 2015
21:26 Montenegro
We’re getting right into the thick of the competition now. Dig deep, everyone, and feel the burn.
Montenegro now. Montenegro only has a population of 620,000, which probably explains why one of the backing dancers in this performance is the daughter of the lead singer, whose name is Knez. Knez is a huge musical star... in Montenegro. He looks like an Eastenders gangster and he appears to be walking on water with this staging. He is, to all intents and purposes, Montenegro’s Jesus.
21:24 Greece
Another nice ballad by a lovely girl in a good dress. And lots of sparkle, as is tradition. But this is all a bit anaemic really.
21:21 Another quick break
Quick, run and get a drink while you can. I can't. I've melted into my chair.
A word now from Flynn Murphy, who is at a Eurovision party in Australia and reporting for us:
"Much of Australia is still asleep as groups Eurovision tragics sit bleary-eyed before screens watching a song contest 10,000 miles away.
The Telegraph is sitting in one Eurovision broadcast party taking place in suburban Sydney. After initially asking themselves why on earth anyone would get up this early on a Sunday, the mixed-age group of ten - friends and family - has now settled in with coffee and blankets to laugh together and provide enthusiastic armchair commentary on each country's performance.
Many Australians say they watch the contest ironically, and are genuinely puzzled by their country's inclusion in the event."
21:17 Austria
They’re the hosts so we have to be nice about them, but this song is pretty forgettable. Even the piano got so bored that it set fire to itself. And that didn't liven things up.
21:13 Belgium
Belgium this year is one of my favourites. It's quite unusual, dark and edgy for a Eurovision song, but danceable nonetheless. The beginning is a bit reminiscent of Lorde's Royals.
21:11 Australian reception
Everyone is loving Australia. Harry has texted me from inside the arena:
"Inflatable kangaroos, a sea of yellow hats - it feels as if half the audience is Aussie."
21:09 Australia
Yes, Australia. They’re in Europe now. And the headline act no less. Pretty much everyone wants them to win, because Neighbours is a net contribution to humanity, plus barbecues and Kylie Minogue.
Australia are the cool kids who nobody can quite believe even want to come to our party, and they’ve made an effort and everything. It’s strictly a one-year-only invitation, but if Australia actually win, they might perform next year too (and maybe even every year). Because the stakes are so high on an Australia win, they’ve been favourites to take home the prize ever since it was announced they’d be taking part.
Add to that the fact that they’re sending this polished, funky, well-crafted pop song performed by multi-platinum Australian chart singer Guy Sebastian, and they have a fighting chance. And look, isn’t he just having a wonderful time? MELBOURNE 2016! (Or whichever European city gets roped into hosting it instead.)
Take a moment to remember that it’s the middle of the night in Australia. Eurovision is like a fever dream at the best of times but spare a thought for any insomniac/drunk Aussies tuning in there right now, half-asleep and semi-hallucinating, no idea what the kangaroo is going on.
21:07 An artist's impression
— Dan Berry (@thingsbydan) May 23, 2015
21:05 Cyprus
John Karayiannis now for Cyprus. A little bit like some karaoke by a forgotten cousin towards the end of a wedding reception, but inoffensive. NEXT.
21:01 Sweden
And on we go! Unfortunately for Norway they’re followed by Sweden, Eurovision superstars and runaway favourites. So here we go with Sweden’s high-budget, high-stakes, world-beating anthemic dance pop mega-hit, heavily inspired by electro country DJ superstars and fellow Swedes Avicii, and sung by Måns Zelmerlöw.
Måns is wearing tight leather trousers and fist-bumping with his complicated on-stage visuals while singing. He’s a very attractive man and, being Swedish, he’s probably into all sorts of progressive paternity leave legislation, so he'll be a resounding success with all the red-blooded Euro-ladies in the house (me). This is looking a lot like a winner. DOUZE POINTS. Stockholm 2016! What’s twelve points in Swedish?
I just looked it up. It’s "tolv poäng”. TOLV POANG, Måns!
20:59 A brief rest
Phew, the songs were coming thick and fast and now finally we get a break. Siobhan has pointed out that there are a lot of potential Disney princesses in this competition. Conchita as Pocahontas, Merida from Brave was singing for Norway, and Bojana should be in her own kickass princess film.
20:55 Norway
A confession: I still listen to last year’s entry from Norway, Silent Storm by Carl Espen, and it’s on my current Spotify playlist. I don’t know what it is about Norwegian pop, but whatever it is, I want more.
This is a murder ballad duet with plenty of ominous drama, just in case we still thought the Scandinavians didn’t understand noir. I unashamedly love this. Hello next year’s Spotify playlist. Can you get Norwegian radio in Britain?
20:51 Serbia
Now THAT is a Eurovision outfit. Well done Bojana Stamenov. Somewhere there is a Christmas tree missing its decorative angel topper. Excellent outfits all round, actually, with a quick-change homage to Bucks Fizz, too!
I am hugely enjoying this song all about embracing difference and being yourself and all that lovely fuzzy right-on Eurovision stuff. This is turning into an apocalyptic body positivity rave. Or is Armenia's magical curse just coming into effect? Either way, the whole competition just kicked up a notch.
Harry is reporting huge cheers for Serbia from inside the arena.
Serbia could take this if the Slavic block vote is used tactically. #Eurovision2015
— [Restricted] Animal (@politic_animal) May 23, 2015
20:47 Lithuania
Crikey. Did Armenia just perform some kind of curse on all of us? That was surreal to say the least.
Now. This is a very sweet little duet but I’m massively distracted by how much it looks like Monika's body is covered in scales in that dress.
Oh they’ve kissed. That’s nice. Definitely doesn’t look strained or awkward, as if they hate the sight of each other after smashing their lips together millions of times during weeks of rehearsals. Hope Monika’s got some lip balm stashed away somewhere in that scale-dress.
20:44 Armenia
Well, that was the UK's chance. And now we move swiftly on to Armenia. This song could have been a real contender, but they’ve struggled to nail the vocals live in the rehearsals and the semis.
Interesting staging here: a cross between a Kate Bush tribute act and a medieval druid solstice freak-out. And yes there are six of them on that stage. Apparently they roped in every druid in Armenia who could sing.
Or is this, in fact, the Council of Elron?
20:41 United Kingdom in "not embarrassing" shocker
Bless Electro Velvet, this is actually pretty good. The strings and neon combo definitely make it stand out, and we've got a few fireworks in there too. Not bad. I feel guilty for not being more optimistic about our chances now.
The main problem is I just can’t believe the lyrics that the UK are singing here. “Sneezes and diseases”? “Don’t get wet, I’ll be upset”? Milton, thou shouldst be living at this hour! The UK hath need of thee!
20:37 UNITED KINGDOM ALERT
Here they are already! Alex and Bianca from Electro Velvet for the United Kingdom. Come on guys, do us proud!
20:35 Estonia
Is this one of the few Eurovision songs which, if you heard it on the radio, could pass for simply one of the latest popular songs on the hit parade, or whatever young people are calling it these days?
Actually I have no idea. I’m 25, and Radio 1 has nothing for me any more. I just listen to Eurovision entries now. Anyway it’s a good song with some dramatic doorway-based staging that looks as if it belongs in a student production of Pinter. Which is a good thing, I think.
20:32 Israel
This song is called Golden Boy, and it's Israel via Bollywood, and also something of a tourism ad for Tel Aviv. Good fun though.
20:29 France
Apologies if you’re a France fan, but France have absolutely no chance of winning this thing. Not only is their song little more than a passably pleasant ballad-like dirge, they’re also performing second - traditionally known as the “death slot”, because no act has ever won from this position.
"Essentially this is a hymn to town planning", says Harry from the arena.
20:24 Slovenia opens the show
And we're off! This is Maraaya, opening the show with Slovenia’s entry. It’s a fun song but what is going on with those headphones? Maybe they're meant to be a distraction from the unnerving contemporary dancer in the background dressed all in black, like a malevolent shadow.
20:22 A Eurovision of building bridges and being green
Apparently this is a "green" Eurovision. It's also being shown live in China for the first time. Good heavens, are China going to be the special guests next year?
Meanwhile, a poetic take on the contest from Ron Paste.
I like to think TS Eliot would have loved Eurovision
— Nul Paste (@ronpaste) May 23, 2015
20:11 Come on, Electro Velvet!
Here's Electro Velvet arriving! Fingers crossed for them - their song divides opinion, to say the least, but they are doing their best. And Bianca from the band has a rather fetching neon outfit for the performance, too.
20:07 All hail Conchita Wurst
And there she is, Conchita, our Eurovision queen. Wearing a rather fetching glittery purple dress and, of course, accessorised with her trademark beard. Can she just win again, please?
Word from Harry:
"The atmosphere inside the Vienna Stadhalle reminds me of raves of the mid-1990s. We're only two minutes in but I can feel my vertebrae vibrating from the thumping feet... beyond bonkers."
20:04 Going swimmingly
Vienna is reminding us of its proud synchronised swimming heritage, there.
20:00 IT'S EUROVISION TIME
OK let's go. Nice bit of orchestral music from the Viennese Philharmonic there, very tasteful. And here's Conchita! Apparently she's going to fly in a minute...
— The Grump Crusader (@grumpcrusader) May 23, 2015
19:55 I've won the lottery!
I haven't really. But if I had, I would spend my winnings on a mindblowing Eurovision entry for the UK next year. OK, the lottery can be over now. Is it Eurovision time yet?
19:52 Conchita is watching us
Who is watching the #Eurovision grand final live from #AUT tonight?? #theunstoppables pic.twitter.com/62lEUJNhnC
— Conchita Wurst (@ConchitaWurst) May 23, 2015
19:48 Snacks!
I'm watching the Eurovision-themed National Lottery: Who Dares Wins on BBC One before Eurovision starts. Frankly I can't believe the BBC aren't showing a full-on intensive Eurovision build-up show. Graham Norton can't come soon enough.
Meanwhile, some more snack updates from Twitter:
Cheesy cheese ... cheesy biscuits ... cheesy snacks ... cheesy songs! Bring it on!!! #Eurovision #EurovisionParty pic.twitter.com/kcHaxsNARS
— Barry O'Donovan (@Bazzaroo) May 23, 2015
As is traditional, @LizRoberts1976 has rustled up some fabulous #Eurovision cupcakes.. 12 points for the snacks! pic.twitter.com/my4pyaDYo4
— Barry Roberts (@silentbazz) May 23, 2015
19:39 Harry has entered the building
Another update from Harry Wallop in Vienna:
"Half an hour to go and the atmosphere is mental inside the Wiener Stadthalle. The mosh pit is completely heaving. Our pre-show host has, interestingly, appealed for us to be "fair" and for "no boos". Vienna is very keen to avoid the jeering that greeted Russia last year."
Ah, that's what those anti-booing measures are. A polite appeal to decency. Nothing more, nothing less.
19.33 No booing in the arena
Here's what the Eurovision arena looks like in Austria right now. That's a lot of people!
The crowd are getting ready for the show here! Such a wonderful atmosphere in here!! 30 MINUTES TO GO! #Eurovision pic.twitter.com/yVbHFvTvxe
— Eurovision (@Eurovision) May 23, 2015
Intriguingly, after last year’s entry for Russia was booed by the live audience following Russia’s activities in Crimea, Eurovision have assured us that this year they have put “anti-booing measures in place”. I’m interested in what this means. Suspect it’s Vladimir Putin in the crowd with a water pistol.
19:27 A quizzical warm up
How much do you really know about Eurovision? This Eurovision quiz is quite good fun - see if you can guess (or remember) what happens next in these classic Eurovision scenarios.
19:14 The countdown begins!
Less than an hour to go! The hype on Twitter is reaching epic heights. If you have Eurovision snacks, I recommend you get started on them now.
One hour! *aggressively throws glitter* #Eurovision2015
Mark Gatiss is having a party.
Going the full on '70s for tonight's party! #Eurovision2015 pic.twitter.com/dxsXv9qO1r
— Mark Gatiss (@Markgatiss) May 23, 2015
Guy Sebastian of Australia and Electro Velvet of the UK are getting excited.
Been great getting to know Alex & Bianca and watching their awesome performances. Good luck UK! https://t.co/PeA6LwSX0w
— Guy Sebastian (@GuySebastian) May 23, 2015
18:40 Feeling the hype
If you are an eager beaver and simply cannot wait for the excitement of the grand final at 8pm, one way to scratch that Eurovision itch is to listen to Radio 2 Eurovision, a pop-up digital radio station focused on everything to do with the competition. It's definitely ones for the super-fans. Right now they're playing Conchita Wurst's new single, You Are Unstoppable.
18:24 Favourites: Sweden
We're less than two hours away from kick-off now, so let's take a look at one of the favourites. Beloved of the bookies (and my Lithuanian deli owner) is Swedish entry Måns Zelmerlöw, singing Heroes.
Before the semi-finals began, Sweden was a clear favourite. It is the country of Abba, after all, and accordingly the place where Eurovision is more important than life or death. Sweden takes this seriously and they really, really want to win. Måns wears tight leather trousers and interacts with his complicated on-stage visuals while singing, so providing there are no malfunctions with his wardrobe or otherwise, this could well be a stand-out performance of the night. It also sounds quite a lot like David Guetta's song Lovers on the Run, released last year.
Here's some more information about Sweden's entry if you're thinking of supporting him tonight.
PICTURE: Per Kristiansen
18:02 Harry's Big Night Out
Uh-oh. Harry's got a ticket to the after-party in Vienna as well as the final itself. That'll be him doing the Viennese Waltz until dawn with Conchita, then. I've put the Telegraph's search teams on standby.
Ready for #Eurovision . Not just a ticket, but entry to the after-show party. Oh yes. pic.twitter.com/CFIc6TvVrB
— Harry Wallop (@hwallop) May 23, 2015
17.48 The Lithuanian view
I tried to get an indication of where the votes might fall tonight when I popped round to the Lithuanian deli around the corner earlier to buy some Eurovision-themed snacks. Everyone there was extremely excited about Eurovision. The Lithuanian owner - a Eurovision devotee - told me he'd put £100 on Sweden winning, and he thought that Russia, Australia and Italy had no chance. So there you go, an early endorsement for Sweden from the local Lithuanians. I asked him what he thought of the UK's hopes, and his stony expression told me all I needed to know.
Here's a video featuring some more expert opinions on who might win:
16.49 Australia: not too bad after all?
We were being mean about Australia earlier, because it's not in Europe. But, after seeing this picture of Australian fans gearing up ahead of Eurovision, we've decided we quite like Australia after all. Just look at these guys are definitely Eurovision-worthy.
(Picture: AP/Kerstin Joensson)
16.30 Super-exciting update from Vienna
We're all a bit jealous: not only is Harry actually in Vienna, but he's staying in the same hotel as Germany's entrant Ann Sophie - and yesterday, he managed to secure a selfie with the amazing Conchita herself:
"I am staying in the same hotel as Ann Sophie from Germany, who I can confirm is a) beautiful b) not 'resting' for the final as she claimed during Thursday's semi final. She was spotted clubbing at 1am. And look who popped in for breakfast yesterday..."
16.20 Update from Vienna
Here's another update from Harry Wallop, who is covering the event from inside the Wiener Stadthalle. He attended last night's Jury Final, where 50 per cent of the votes are decided. (It acts as a public dress rehearsal too, with tickets going for nearly as much as the Grand Final itself.)
"I watched the show last night from inside the cavernous press room (there are 1,700 accredited press here) and it was interesting to see how all the different acts went down. Yes, Italy and Sweden are the favourites. But the biggest cheers of the night were for Serbia's well-upholstered Bojana Stamenov, Russia and Australia -- Guy Sebastian looked very slick. Possibly the biggest roar of the night was for Belgium and its jerky number Rhythm Inside." Loic Nottet from Belgium is one to watch."
15.56 Could Electro Velvet be in with a chance?
Let's lie back and think of England. Well, Britain. Specifically, let's lie back and think about our 2015 Eurovision entry.
Traditionally, we've never really done that well at Eurovision (with notable exceptions being Sandie Shaw, Lulu, Bucks Fizz, Katrina and the Waves, and the other winning group whose name we can't remember/be bothered googling right now). Could jaunty duo Electro Velvet be the answer to our woes? Probably not ... but you can find out more about them in this piece anyway: Who are Electro Velvet and do they stand a chance ?
(Picture: BBC 2015)
15.25 Why has Australia been allowed to join?
While you're waiting for Eurovision to begin, you can always kill some time by moaning about why Australia has been allowed to join the competiton this year. Or moaning about Australia in general, if that's your thing.
So, why are the Australians involved this year? The general consensus seems to be "because they really really wanted to be", but this piece - Why is Australia in the Eurovision final tonight when it's 9,443 miles away? - has a little more information. Here's a picture of Australia's entry, by the way. He's called Guy Sebastian, was born in Malaysia, and was the first-ever winner of Australian Idol, back in 2003. He's basically their Will Young.
(Picture: Rex)
15.05 It's raining in Vienna
Our first on-the-scenes update is here, courtesy of Harry Wallop in Vienna (where the weather is clearly not getting into the Eurovision spirit):
"The weather is dire -- after gentle rain this morning, it has been tipping it down since lunch. The Eurovision costume of choice for most fans arriving at the Wiener Stadthalle is one of those plastic ponchos. Not very stylish."
15:00 Wilkommen to the Eurovision
Guten Tag! Wilkommen to the Eurovision 2015 live blog! Stay right here for all the latest news and craziness from Vienna this afternoon and throughout this evening as the glitteriest and most outrageous night of the European musical year reaches its climax. Who will triumph? Will it be Sweden, the Eurovision pros who are sending a man wearing extremely tight leather trousers? Or Australia, which is taking part for some reason this year? Or a complete wildcard, like the United Kingdom?
The show starts tonight on BBC One at 8pm. Here's all the information you need on the qualifiers and how to watch . We'll document every ridiculous, wonderful step of the way.
We also have updates from Harry Wallop on the ground in Vienna, where apparently it's absolutely pouring with rain. But we won't let that dampen our Eurovision spirits! If you're hosting an opulent themed Eurovision party tonight, or just enjoying the show on your own in sober reflection as befits the solemnity of the occasion, let us know your thoughts, jokes, photos and tips as the night goes on, and we'll all make it through this together. Leave a comment below, or tweet us @Telegraph_TV.
Here are the qualifiers and the running order for tonight:
1. Slovenia