Body Language - guide to reading body language signals in             management, training, courtship, flirting and other communications and             relationships
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body language
how to read body language signs and gestures - non-verbal                         communications - male and female, for work, social, dating, and mating                         relationships
Body Language is a significant aspect of modern communications and                             relationships.
Body Language is therefore very relevant to management and                             leadership, and to all aspects of work and business where communications can be                             seen and physically observed among people.
Body language is also very relevant to relationships outside of                             work, for example in dating and mating, and in families and parenting.
Communication includes listening. In terms of observable body                             language, non-verbal (non-spoken) signals are being exchanged whether these                             signals are accompanied by spoken words or not.
Body language goes both ways:
Your own body language reveals your feelings and meanings to                                 others.
Other people's body language reveals their feelings and meanings                                 to you.
The sending and receiving of body language signals happens on                             conscious and unconscious levels.
Body language, and more technically the study of body language, is also known as kinesics  (pronounced                             'kineesicks'), which is derived  from the Greek word kinesis, meaning motion.
See also the free Body Language Quiz , which can be used to test/reinforce the learning offered in this article.
(N.B. US and UK-English spellings,                                 e.g., 'ize' and 'ise' are used in this page to allow for different searching                                 preferences. Please feel free to change these according to your local                                 requirements when using these materials.)
 
body language - basics and                         introduction
Body language is a powerful concept which successful people tend to                             understand well.
So can you.
The study and theory of body language has become popular in recent                             years because psychologists have been able to understand what we 'say' through                             our bodily gestures and facial expressions, so as to translate our body                             language, revealing its underlying feelings and attitudes.
Body Language is also referred to as 'non-verbal communications',                             and less commonly 'non-vocal communications'.
The term 'non-verbal communications' tends to be used in a wider                             sense, and all these terms are somewhat vague.
For the purposes of this article, the terms 'body language' and                             'non-verbal communications' are broadly interchangeable. This guide also takes                             the view that body language/non-verbal communications is the study of how                             people communicate face-to-face aside from the spoken words themselves, and in                             this respect the treatment of the subject here is broader than typical body                             language guides limited merely to body positions and gestures.
If you carry out any serious analysis or discussion you should                             clarify the terminology in your own way to suit your purposes.
For example:
Does body language include facial expression and eye movement? -                             Usually, yes.
What about breathing and perspiration? - This depends on your                             definition of body language.
And while tone and pitch of voice are part of verbal signals, are                             these part of body language too? - Not normally, but arguably so, especially as                             you could ignore them if considering only the spoken words and physical                             gestures/expressions.
There are no absolute right/wrong answers to these questions. It's a                             matter of interpretation.
A good reason for broadening the scope of body language is to avoid                             missing important signals which might not be considered within a narrow                             definition of body language.
Nevertheless confusion easily arises if definitions and context are                             not properly established, for example:
It is commonly and carelessly quoted that 'non-verbal                             communications' and/or 'body language' account for up to 93% of the meaning                             that people take from any human communication. This statistic is actually a                             distortion based on Albert Mehrabian's                             research theory , which while itself is something of a cornerstone of body                             language research, certainly did not make such a sweeping claim.
Mehrabian's research findings in fact focused on communications with                             a strong emotional or 'feelings' element. Moreover the 93% non-verbal                             proportion included vocal intonation (paralinguistics), which are regarded by                             many as falling outside of the body language definition.
Care must therefore be exercised when stating specific figures                             relating to percentages of meaning conveyed, or in making any firm claims in                             relation to body language and non-verbal communications.
It is safe to say that body language represents a very significant                             proportion of meaning that is conveyed and interpreted between people. Many body language experts and                             sources seem to agree that that between 50-80% of all human communications                             are non-verbal. So while body language statistics vary according to situation,                             it is generally accepted that non-verbal communications are very important in                             how we understand each other (or fail to), especially in face-to-face and                             one-to-one communications, and most definitely when the communications involve                             an emotional or attitudinal element.
Body language is especially crucial when we meet someone for the                             first time.
We form our opinions of someone we meet for the first time in just a                             few seconds, and this initial instinctual assessment is based far more on what                             we see and feel about the other person than on the words they speak. On many                             occasions we form a strong view about a new person before they speak a single                             word.
Consequently body language is very influential in forming                             impressions on first meeting someone.
The effect happens both ways - to and from:
When we meet someone for the first time, their body language, on                                 conscious and unconscious levels, largely determines our initial impression of                                 them.
In turn when someone meets us for the first time, they form their                                 initial impression of us largely from our body language and non-verbal signals.
And this two-way effect of body language continues throughout                             communications and relationships between people.
Body language is constantly being exchanged and interpreted between                             people, even though much of the time this is happening on an unconscious                             level.
Remember - while you are interpreting (consciously or unconsciously)                             the body language of other people, so other people are constantly interpreting                             yours.
The people with the most conscious awareness of, and capabilities to                             read, body language tend to have an advantage over those whose appreciation is                             limited largely to the unconscious.
You will shift your own awareness of body language from the                             unconscious into the conscious by learning about the subject, and then by                             practising your reading of non-verbal communications in your dealings with                             others.
 
body language is more than body positions and movements
Body language is not just about how we hold and move our bodies.
Body language potentially (although not always, depending on the                             definition you choose to apply) encompasses:
how we position our bodies
our closeness to and the space between us and other people                                 (proxemics), and how this changes
our facial expressions
our eyes especially and how our eyes move and focus, etc
how we touch ourselves and others
how our bodies connect with other non-bodily things, for                                 instance, pens, cigarettes, spectacles and clothing
our breathing, and other less noticeable physical effects, for                                 example our heartbeat and perspiration
Body language tends not to include:
the pace, pitch, and intonation, volume, variation, pauses, etc.,                                 of our voice.
Arguably this last point should be encompassed by body language,                             because a lot happens here which can easily be missed if we consider merely the                             spoken word and the traditional narrow definition of body language or                             non-verbal communications.
Voice type and other audible signals are typically not included in                             body language because they are audible 'verbal' signals rather than physical                             visual ones, nevertheless the way the voice is used is a very significant                             (usually unconscious) aspect of communication, aside from the bare words                             themselves.
Consequently, voice type is always important to consider alongside                             the usual body language factors.
Similarly breathing and heartbeat, etc., are typically excluded from                             many general descriptions of body language, but are certainly part of the range                             of non-verbal bodily actions and signals which contribute to body language in                             its fullest sense.
More obviously, our eyes are a vital aspect of our body language.
Our reactions to other people's eyes - movement, focus, expression,                             etc - and their reactions to our eyes - contribute greatly to mutual assessment                             and understanding, consciously and unconsciously.
With no words at all, massive feeling can be conveyed in a single                             glance. The metaphor which describes the eyes of two lovers meeting across a                             crowded room is not only found in old romantic movies. It's based on scientific                             fact - the strong powers of non-verbal communications.
These effects - and similar powerful examples - have existed in real                             human experience and behaviour for thousands of years.
The human body and our instinctive reactions have evolved to an                             amazingly clever degree, which many of us ignore or take for granted, and which                             we can all learn how to recognize more clearly if we try.
Our interpretation of body language, notably eyes and facial                             expressions, is instinctive, and with a little thought and knowledge we can                             significantly increase our conscious awareness of these signals: both the                             signals we transmit, and the signals in others that we observe.
Doing so gives us a significant advantage in life - professionally                             and personally - in our dealings with others.
Body language is not just reading the signals in other people.
Importantly, understanding body language enables better                             self-awareness and self-control too.
We understand more about other people's feelings and meanings, and                             we also understand more about these things in ourselves.
When we understand body language we become better able to refine and                             improve what our body says about us, which generates a positive improvement in                             the way we feel, the way we perform, and what we achieve.
 
body language                         definitions
As explained, the terms body language and non-verbal communications                             are rather vague.
So what is body language? And more usefully, what might we regard it                             to be, if we are to make the most of studying and using it?
The Oxford English Dictionary (revised 2005) definition is:
"body language - noun - the conscious and unconscious                             movements and postures by which attitudes and feelings are communicated [for                             example]: his intent was clearly expressed in his body language."
The Oxford Business English Dictionary offers a slightly different                             definition. Appropriately and interestingly the Oxford Business English                             Dictionary emphasizes the sense that body language can be used as a tool,                             rather than it being an involuntary effect with no particular purpose:
"body language - noun - the process of communicating what you                             are feeling or thinking by the way you place and move your body rather than by                             words [for example]: The course trains sales people in reading the customer's                             body language."
The OED dictionary definition of kinesics - the technical                             term for the study of body language (and more loosely of body language itself) - depends on the interpretation of 'non-verbal                             communication':
"kinesics - the study of the way in which certain body                             movements and gestures serve as a form of non-verbal communication... [and] body movements and gestures regarded as a form of non-verbal communication."
Body language is more than those brief descriptions.
Body language certainly also encompasses where the body is in                                 relation to other bodies (often referred to as 'personal space').
Body language certainly also includes very small bodily movements                                 such as facial expressions and eye movements.
Body language also arguably covers all that we communicate                                 through our bodies apart from the spoken words (thereby encompassing breathing,                                 perspiration, pulse, blood-pressure, blushing, etc.)
In this respect, standard dictionary definitions don't always                             describe body language fully and properly.
We could define body language more fully as:
"Body language is the unconscious and conscious transmission and                             interpretation of feelings, attitudes, and moods, through:
body posture, movement, physical state, position and                                 relationship to other bodies, objects and surroundings,
facial expression and eye movement,
(and this transmission and interpretation can be quite different                             to the spoken words)."
 
Words alone - especially emotional words (or words used in emotional                             situations) - rarely reflect full or true meaning and motive.
We find clues to additional or true meaning in body language.
Being able to 'read' body language therefore helps us greatly:
to know how people feel and what they mean, and
to understand better how people might be perceiving our own                                 non-verbal signals, and (often overlooked)
to understand ourselves better, deeper than the words we hear                                 ourselves saying.
 
body language - background and                         history
Philosophers and scientists have connected human physical behaviour                             with meaning, mood and personality for thousands of years, but only in living                             memory has the study of body language become as sophisticated and detailed as                             it is today.
Body language studies and written works on the subject are very                             sparse until the mid-1900s.
The first known experts to consider aspects of body language were                             probably the ancient Greeks, notably Hippocrates and Aristotle, through their                             interest in human personality and behaviour, and the Romans, notably Cicero,                             relating gestures to feelings and communications. Much of this early interest                             was in refining ideas about oration - speech-making - given its significance to                             leadership and government.
Isolated studies of body language appeared in more recent times, for                             example Francis Bacon in Advancement of Learning, 1605, explored gestures as                             reflection or extension of spoken communications. John Bulwer's Natural History                             of the Hand published in 1644, considered hand gestures. Gilbert Austin's                             Chironomia in 1806 looked at using gestures to improve speech-making.
Charles Darwin in the late 1800s could be regarded as the earliest                             expert to have made serious scientific observation about body language, but                             there seems little substantial development of ideas for at least the next 150                             years.
Darwin's work pioneered much ethological thinking. Ethology began as                             the science of animal behaviour. It became properly established during the                             early 1900s and increasingly extends to human behaviour and social                             organization. Where ethology considers animal evolution and communications, it                             relates strongly to human body language. Ethologists have progressively applied their findings to human behaviour, including body language, reflecting the                             evolutionary origins of much human non-verbal communication - and society's                             growing acceptance of evolutionary rather than creationist theory. Austrian                             zoologist and 1973 Nobel Prizewinner Konrad Lorenz (1903-89) was a founding                             figure in ethology. Desmond Morris, author of The Naked Ape, discussed below,                             is an ethologist, as is the evolutionary biologist Richard Dawkins (b. 1941) a                             leading modern thinker in the field. Ethology, like psychology, is an                             over-arching science which continues to clarify the understanding of body                             language.
The popular and accessible study of body language as we know it                             today is very recent.
In his popular 1971 book 'Body Language', Julius Fast (1919-2008)                             wrote: "...kinesics [body language and its study] is still so new as a science that its                             authorities can be counted on the fingers of one hand..."
Julius Fast was an American award winning writer of fiction and                             non-fiction work dealing especially with human physiology and behaviour. His                             book Body Language was among the first to bring the subject to a mainstream                             audience.
Significantly the references in Julius Fast's book (Birdwhistell,                             Goffman, Hall, Mehrabian, Scheflen, etc - see body language references and                             books below) indicate the freshness of the subject in 1971. All except one                             of Julius Fast's cited works are from the 1950s and 1960s.
The exception among Fast's contemporary influences was Charles                             Darwin, and specifically his book The Expression of the Emotions in Man and                             Animals, written in 1872, which is commonly regarded as the beginnings of the                             body language science, albeit not recognised as such then.
Sigmund Freud and others in the field of psychoanalysis - in the                             late 1800s and early 1900s - would have had good awareness of many aspects of                             body language, including personal space, but they did not focus on non-verbal                             communications concepts or develop body language theories in their own right.                             Freud and similar psychoanalysts and psychologists of that time were focused on                             behaviour and therapeutic analysis rather than the study of non-verbal                             communications per se.
A different view of human behaviour related to and overlapping body                             language, surfaced strongly in Desmond Morris's 1967 book The Naked Ape, and in                             follow-up books such as Intimate Behaviour, 1971. Morris, a British zoologist                             and ethologist, linked human behaviour - much of it concerned with                             communications - to human 'animalistic' evolution. His work remains a popular                             and controversial perspective for understanding people's behaviours, and while                             his theories did not focus strongly on body language, Morris's popularity in                             the late 1960s and 1970s contributed significantly to the increasing interest                             among people beyond the scientific community - for a better understanding of                             how and why we feel and act and communicate.
An important aspect of body language is facial expression, which is                             arguably one part of body language for which quite early 'scientific' thinking                             can be traced:
Physiognomy is an obscure and related concept to body                             language. Physiognomy refers to facial features and expressions which were/are                             said indicate the person's character or nature, or ethnic origin.
The word physiognomy is derived from medieval Latin, and earlier                             Greek (phusiognominia), which originally meant (the art or capability of)                             judging a person's nature from his/her facial features and expressions. The                             ancient roots of this concept demonstrate that while body language itself is a                             recently defined system of analysis, the notion of inferring human nature or                             character from facial expression is extremely old.
Kinesics (pronounced 'kineesicks' with stress on the 'ee')                             is the modern  technical word for body language, and more scientifically the study of body language.
The word kinesics was first used in English in this sense in the                             1950s, deriving from the Greek word kinesis, meaning motion, and seems to have                             first been used by Dr Ray Birdwhistell, an American 1950s researcher and writer                             on body language. (See references ).
The introduction of a new technical word - (in this case, kinesics)                             - generally comes after the establishment of the subject it describes, which                             supports the assertion that the modern concept of body language - encompassing                             facial expressions and personal space - did not exist until the 1950s.
Proxemics is the technical term for the personal space aspect of body language. The word was devised in the late 1950s or early                             1960s by Edward Twitchell Hall, an American anthropologist. The word is Hall's                             adaptation of the word proximity, meaning closeness or nearness. (See personal space .)
From the word kinesics, Ray Birdwhistell coined the term kine to refer to a single body language signal. This is not to be confused with the                             ancient and same word kine, meaning a group of cows. Neither word seems to have                             caught on in a big way, which in one way is a pity, but in another way probably                             makes matters simpler for anyone interested in the body language of cows.
The Greek word kinesis is also a root word of kinaesthetics, which                             is the 'K' in the VAK ('see hear feel')                             learning styles model .
Kinaesthetics (also known as kinesthetics), the study of learning                             styles, is related to some of the principles of body language, in terms of                             conveying meaning and information via physical movement and experience.
Body language is among many branches of science and education which                             seek to interpret and exploit messages and meaning from the 'touchy-feely' side                             of life.
For example, the concepts of experiential learning , games and exercises , and love                             and spirituality at work - are all different perspectives and attempts to                             unlock and develop people's potential using ideas centred around kinaesthetics,                             as distinct from the more tangible and easily measurable areas of facts,                             figures words and logic.
These and similar methodologies do not necessarily reference body                             language directly, but there are very strong inter-connections.
Bloom's Taxonomy ,                             and Kolb's Learning Styles are also                             helpful perspectives in appreciating the significance of kinaesthetics, and                             therefore body language, in life and work today.
The communications concepts of NLP (Neuro-linguistic                             Programming) and Transactional Analysis are                             closely dependent on understanding body language, NLP especially.
 
body language - nature or                         nurture?
Body language is part of human evolution, but as with many other                             aspects of human behaviour, the precise mixture of genetic (inherited) and                             environmental (learned or conditioned) influences is not known, and opinions                             vary.
Julius Fast noted this, especially regarding facial expressions. To                             emphasise the shifting debate he cited for example:
Darwin's belief that human facial expressions were similar among                                 humans of all cultures, due to evolutionary theory.
Bruner and Taguiri's (see references ) opposing views - in                                 the early 1950s, after thirty years of research, they largely rejected the notion that facial expressions were inborn.
and Ekman, Friesan and Sorensen's findings (see references ) - in 1969, having                                 discovered consistent emotional-facial recognition across widely diverse                                 cultural groups, which supported Darwin's evolutionary-centred ideas.
The discussion has continued in a similar vein to the modern day -                             studies 'proving' genetic or environmental cause - 'nature' or 'nurture' - for                             one aspect of body language or another.
The situation is made more complex when one considers the genetic                             (inherited) capability or inclination to learn body language. Is this nature or                             nurture?
It's both.
Body language is partly genetic (inborn - 'nature') - hugely so in                             certain aspects of body language - and partly environmental                             (conditioned/learned - 'nurture').
Some body language is certainly genetically inherited and consistent                             among all humans. Other body language is certainly not.
The use and recognition of certain fundamental facial expressions                             are now generally accepted to be consistent and genetically determined among all humans regardless of culture.
However the use and recognition of less fundamental physical                             gestures (hand movements for example, or the winking of an eye), and aspects of                             personal space distances, are now generally accepted to be environmentally                             determined (learned, rather than inherited), which is significantly                             dependent on local society groups and cultures.
Certain vocal intonation speech variations (if body language is                             extended to cover everything but the spoken words) also fall within this                             environmentally determined category. (See the 'other audible signals' section.)
In summary, we can be certain that body language (namely the                             conscious and unconscious sending and receiving of non-verbal signals) is                             partly inborn, and partly learned or conditioned.
Body language is part 'nature' and part 'nurture'.
 
body language and evolution
The evolutionary perspectives of body language are fascinating, in                             terms of its purpose and how it is exploited, which in turn feeds back into the                             purpose of body language at conscious and unconscious levels.
Human beings tend to lie, deceive, manipulate, and pretend. It's in                             our nature to do this, if only to a small degree in some folk.
For various reasons people intentionally and frequently mask their                             true feelings. ( Transactional Analysis theory is                             very useful in understanding more about this.)
In expectation of these 'masking' tendencies in others, humans try                             to imagine what another person has in their mind. The need to understand what                             lies behind the mask obviously increases according to the importance of the                             relationship.
Body language helps us to manage and guard against these tendencies,                             and also - significantly especially in flirting/dating/mating rituals - body                             language often helps people to communicate and resolve relationship issues when                             conscious behaviour and speech fails to do so.
Body language has evolved in spite of human awareness and conscious                             intelligence: rather like a guardian angel, body language can help take care of                             us, connecting us to kindred souls, and protecting us from threats.
While the importance of body language in communications and                             management, etc., has become a popular interest and science in the last few                             decades, human beings have relied on body language instinctively in many ways                             for many thousands of years.
Early natural exponents of interpreting body language were for                             example the poker players of the American Wild West. The winners had not only                             to be handy with a six-shooter, but also skilled in reading other people's                             non-verbal signals, and controlling their own signals.
Before these times, explorers and tribal leaders had to be able to                             read the body language of potential foes - to know whether to trust or defend                             or attack.
Earlier than this, our cavemen ancestors certainly needed to read                             body language, if only because no other language existed.
Humans have also learned to read the body language of animals (and                             vice-versa), although humans almost certainly had greater skills in this area a                             long time ago. Shepherds, horse-riders and animal trainers throughout time and                             still today have good capabilities in reading animal body language, which for                             many extends to the human variety. Monty Roberts , the                             real life 'Horse Whisperer' is a good example.
Body language, and the reading of non-verbal communications and                             feelings, are in our genes. Were these factors not in our genes, we would not be here today.
On which point:
Women tend to have better perception and interpretation of body                             language than men. This is perhaps a feature of evolutionary survival, since                             females needed good body language skills to reduce their physical vulnerability                             to males and the consequential threat to life, limb and offspring. Females                             might not be so physically vulnerable in modern times, but their body language                             capabilities generally continue typically to be stronger than the male of the                             species. Thus, women tend to be able to employ body language (for sending and                             interpreting signals) more effectively than men.
Katherine Benziger's                             theories of brain types and thinking styles provides useful additional                             perspective. Women tend to have more empathic sensitivity than men, which                             naturally aids body language awareness and capabilities. Aside from gender                             differences, men and women with strong empathic sensitivity (typically                             right-basal or rear brain bias) tend to be better at picking up body language                             signals.
 
the six universal facial                         expressions - recognized around the world
It is now generally accepted that certain basic facial expressions                             of human emotion are recognized around the world - and that the use and                             recognition of these expressions is genetically inherited rather than socially                             conditioned or learned.
While there have been found to be minor variations and differences                             among obscurely isolated tribes-people, the following basic human emotions are                             generally used, recognized, and part of humankind's genetic character:
These emotional face expressions are:
Happiness
Surprise
Anger
Charles Darwin was first to make these claims in his book The                             Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals, published in 1872. This book                             incidentally initially far outsold The Origin of Species, such was its wide                             (and controversial) appeal at the time.
Darwin's assertions about genetically inherited facial expressions                             remained the subject of much debate for many years.
In the 1960s a Californian psychiatrist and expert in facial                             expressions, Paul Ekman, (with Sorenson and Friesen - see references ) conducted and                             published extensive studies with people of various cultures to explore the                             validity of Darwin's theory - that certain facial expressions and man's ability                             to recognize them are inborn and universal among people. Ekman's work notably                             included isolated tribes-people who could not have been influenced by Western                             media and images, and essentially proved that Darwin was right - i.e., that the                             use and recognition of facial expressions to convey certain basic human                             emotions is part of human evolved nature, genetically inherited, and not                             dependent on social learning or conditioning.
 
body language analysis
Body language is instinctively interpreted by us all to a limited                             degree, but the subject is potentially immensely complex. Perhaps infinitely                             so, given that the human body is said to be capable of producing 700,000                             different movements (Hartland and Tosh, 2001 - see references ).
As with other behavioural sciences, the study of body language benefited from the development of brain-imaging technology in the last part of                             the 20th century. This dramatically accelerated the research and understanding                             into connections between the brain, feelings and thoughts, and body movement.                             We should expect to see this effect continuing and providing more solid science                             for body language theory, much of which remains empirical, i.e., based on                             experience and observation, rather than scientific test.
Given the potential for confusion, here are some considerations when                             analysing body language:
context
Body language also depends on context: body language in a certain                             situation might not mean the same in another.
Some 'body language' isn't what it seems at all, for example:
Someone rubbing their eye might have an irritation, rather than                                 being tired - or disbelieving, or upset.
Someone with crossed arms might be keeping warm, rather than                                 being defensive.
Someone scratching their nose might actually have an itch, rather                                 than concealing a lie.
sufficient samples/evidence
A single body language signal isn't as reliable as several                             signals:
As with any system of evidence, 'clusters' of body language signals                             provide much more reliable indication of meaning than one or two signals in                             isolation.
Avoid interpreting only single signals. Look for combinations of                             signals which support an overall conclusion, especially for signals which can                             mean two or more quite different things.
culture/ethnicity
Certain body language is the same in all people, for example                             smiling and frowning (and see the six universally recognizable facial                             expressions above), but some body language is specific to a culture or                             ethnic group.
See examples of cultural                             body language differences below.
Awareness of possible cultural body language differences is                             especially important in today's increasingly mixed societies.
Management and customer service staff are particularly prone to                             misreading or reacting inappropriately to body language signals from people of                             different ethnic backgrounds, a situation made worse because this sort of                             misunderstanding tends to peak when emotions are high.
Personal space preferences (distances inside which a person is                             uncomfortable when someone encroaches) can vary between people of different                             ethnicity.
In general this article offers interpretations applicable for                             Western culture.
If you can suggest any different ethnic interpretations of body                             language please send them and I'll broaden                             the guide accordingly.
body language is relative to age and gender
Many body language signals are relative.
A gesture by one person in a certain situation can carry far more,                             or very little meaning, compared to the same gesture used by a different person                             in a different situation.
Young men for example often display a lot of pronounced gestures                             because they are naturally energetic, uninhibited and supple. Older women,                             relatively, are less energetic, adopt more modest postures, and are prevented                             by clothing and upbringing from exhibiting very pronounced gestures.
So when assessing body language - especially the strength of signals                             and meanings - it's important to do so in relative terms, considering the type                             of person and situation involved.
faking/deception
Some people artificially control their outward body language to give                             the impression they seek to create at the time.
A confident firm handshake, or direct eye contact, are examples of                             signals which can be quite easily be 'faked' - usually temporarily, but                             sometimes more consistently.
However while a degree of faking is possible, it is not possible for                             someone to control or suppress all outgoing signals.
This is an additional reason to avoid superficial analysis based on                             isolated signals, and to seek as many indicators as possible, especially subtle                             clues when suspecting things might not be what they seem. Politicians and                             manipulative salespeople come to mind for some reason.
Looking for 'micro gestures' (pupils contract, an eyebrow lifts,                             corner of the mouth twitch) can help identify the true meaning and motive                             behind one or two strong and potentially false signals.
These micro gestures are very small, difficult to spot and are                             subconscious, but we cannot control them, hence their usefulness.
boredom, nervousness and insecurity signals
Many body language signals indicate negative feelings such as                             boredom, disinterest, anxiousness, insecurity, etc.
The temptation on seeing such signals is to imagine a weakness on                             the part of the person exhibiting them.
This can be so, however proper interpretation of body language                             should look beyond the person and the signal - and consider the situation,                             especially if you are using body language within personal development or                             management. Ask yourself:
What is causing the negative feelings giving rise to the negative                             signals?
It is often the situation, not the person - for example, here are                             examples of circumstances which can produce negative feelings and signals in                             people, often even if they are strong and confident:
dominance of a boss or a teacher or other person perceived to be                                 in authority
overloading a person with new knowledge or learning
tiredness
Ask yourself, when analysing body language:
Are there external factors affecting the mood and condition of the                             individual concerned?
Do not jump to conclusions - especially negative ones - using body                             language analysis alone.
 
body language -                         translation of gestures, signs and other factors - quick reference                         guide
When translating body language signals into feelings and meanings                             remember that one signal does not reliably indicate a meaning.
Clusters of signals more reliably indicate meaning.
This is a general guide. Body language should not be used alone for                             making serious decisions about people.
Body language is one of several indicators of mood, meaning and                             motive.
This is a guide, not an absolutely reliable indicator, and this                             applies especially until you've developed good capabilities of reading body                             language signs.
Some of these signs have obvious meanings; others not so.
Even 'obvious' signs can be missed - especially if displayed as                             subtle movements in a group of people and if your mind is on other things - so                             I make no apology for including 'obvious' body language in this guide.
Also remember that cultural differences influence body language                             signals and their interpretation. This guide is based on 'Western World' and                             North European behaviours. What may be 'obvious' in one culture can mean                             something different in another culture.
body language signs translation
The body language signals below are grouped together according to                             parts of the body.
Left and right are for the person giving the signals and making                             the movements.
This is a summary of the main body language signals. More signals                             and meanings will be added.
Suggest any other signals that you wish                             to know, and I'll add them.
body language warning
eyes - body language
Our eyes are a very significant aspect of the non-verbal signals we send to others.
To a lesser or greater extent we all 'read' people's eyes without                             knowing how or why, and this ability seems to be inborn.
Eyes - and especially our highly developed awareness of what we see                             in other people's eyes - are incredible.
For example we know if we have eye contact with someone at an almost                             unbelievable distance. Far too far away to be able to see the detail of a                             person's eyes - 30-40 metres away or more sometimes - we know when there is eye                             contact. This is an absolutely awesome capability when you think about it.
Incredibly also, we can see whether another person's eyes are                             focused on us or not, and we can detect easily the differences between a                             'glazed over' blank stare, a piercing look, a moistening eye long before tears                             come, and an awkward or secret glance.
We probably cannot describe these and many other eye signals, but we                             recognise them when we see them and we know what they mean.
When we additionally consider the eyelids, and the flexibility of                             the eyes to widen and close, and for the pupils to enlarge or contract, it                             becomes easier to understand how the eyes have developed such potency in human                             communications.
A note about eyes looking right and left..
(Left and right are for the person giving the signals and making the                             movements)
Eyes tend to look right when the brain is imagining or creating, and                             left when the brain is recalling or remembering. This relates to right and left                             sides of the brain - in this context broadly the parts of the brain handling                             creativity/feelings (right) and facts/memory (left). This is analysed in                             greater detail below, chiefly based on NLP theory developed in the                             1960s. Under certain circumstances 'creating' can mean fabrication or lying,                             especially (but not always - beware), when the person is supposed to be                             recalling facts. Looking right when stating facts does not necessarily mean                             lying - it could for example mean that the person does not know the answer, and                             is talking hypothetically or speculating or guessing.
signal
eyes | mouth | head | arms | hands | handshakes | legs and feet | personal space
mouth - body language
The mouth is associated with very many body language signals, which                             is not surprising given its functions - obviously speech, but also those                             connected with infant feeding, which connects psychologically through later                             life with feelings of security, love and sex.
The mouth can be touched or obscured by a person's own hands or                             fingers, and is a tremendously flexible and expressive part of the body too,                             performing a central role in facial expressions.
The mouth also has more visible moving parts than other sensory                             organs, so there's a lot more potential for variety of signalling.
Unlike the nose and ears, which are generally only brought into body                             language action by the hands or fingers, the mouth acts quite independently,                             another reason for it deserving separate detailed consideration.
Smiling is a big part of facial body language. As a general rule                             real smiles are symmetrical and produce creases around the eyes and mouth,                             whereas fake smiles, for whatever reason, tend to be mouth-only gestures.
signal
head - body language
The head is very significant in body language.
The head tends to lead and determine general body direction, but it                             is also vital and vulnerable being where our brain is, so the head is used a                             lot in directional (likes and dislikes) body language, and in defensive                             (self-protection) body language too.
A person's head, due to a very flexible neck structure, can turn,                             jut forward, withdraw, tilt sideways, forwards, backwards. All of these                             movements have meanings, which given some thought about other signals can be                             understood.
The head usually has hair, ears, eyes, nose, and a face, which has                             more complex and visible muscular effects than any other area of the body.
The face, our eyes and our hands, are the most powerful parts of our                             body in sending body language signals.
The head - when our hands interact with it - is therefore dynamic                             and busy in communicating all sorts of messages - consciously and                             unconsciously.
signal
eyes | mouth | head | arms | hands | handshakes | legs and feet | personal space
arms - body language
Arms act as defensive barriers when across the body, and conversely                             indicate feelings of openness and security when in open positions, especially                             combined with open palms.
Arms are quite reliable indicators of mood and feeling, especially                             when interpreted with other body language.
This provides a good opportunity to illustrate how signals combine                             to enable safer analysis.
For example:
crossed arms + crossed legs = probably defensive
crossed arms + crossed legs + frowning + clenched fists =                                 definitely defensive, and probably hostile too.
While this might seem obvious written in simple language, it's not                             always so clear if your attention is on other matters.
Body language is more than just knowing the theory - it's being                             aware constantly of the signals people are giving.
signal
hands - body language
Body language involving hands is extensive.
This is because hands are such expressive parts of the body, and                             because hands interact with other parts of the body.
Hands contain many more nerve connections (to the brain) than most                             if not all other body parts. They are extremely expressive and flexible tools,                             so it is natural for hands to be used a lot in signalling consciously - as with                             emphasizing gestures - or unconsciously - as in a wide range of unintentional                             movements which indicate otherwise hidden feelings and thoughts.
A nose or an ear by itself can do little to signal a feeling, but                             when a hand or finger is also involved then there is probably a signal of some                             sort.
Hands body language is used for various purposes, notably:
emphasis, (pointing, jabbing, and chopping actions, etc)
illustration (drawing, shaping, mimicking actions or sizing                                 things in the air - this big/long/wide/etc., phoning actions, etc)
specific conscious signals like the American OK, the thumbs-up,                                 the Victory-sign, and for rude gestures, etc.
greeting people and waving goodbye (which might be included in                                 the above category)
and more interestingly in unconscious 'leakage' signals including                                 interaction with items like pens and cigarettes and other parts of the body,                                 indicating feelings such as doubt, deceit, pressure, openness, expectation,                                 etc.
Body language experts generally agree that hands send more signals                             than any part of the body except for the face. Studying hand body language                             therefore yields a lot of information; hence the hands section below is                             large.
There are many cultural                             body language differences in hand signals. The section below focuses on                             Western behaviour. Much applies elsewhere, but avoid assuming that it all                             does.
signal
eyes | mouth | head | arms | hands | handshakes | legs and feet | personal space
handshakes - body                         language
Firmness of handshake is not the reliable indicator of firmness of                             character that many believe it to be. Firm handshakes tend to be those of                             confident people, especially those who have spent some time in business, and                             who realise that most people in business consider a firm handshake to be a good                             thing. Handshakes that are uncomfortably firm show a lack of respect or                             awareness, especially if used in cultures (Eastern especially) where firm                             handshaking is not normal.
Handshaking evolved from ancient times as an initial gesture of                             trust, to show that no weapon was being held. Naturally also the handshake                             offers the most obvious way to connect physically as a way to signal trust or                             friendship. In more recent times, especially from the 1800s onwards, a                             handshake became the way to confirm a commercial transaction. Handshaking by                             women became common practice much later, reflecting the change of social                             attitudes and the increasing equality of women, for whom a hundred years back                             such physical contact was considered improper. Women have throughout time                             generally been subservient to men, hence the very subservient female curtsey                             gesture (also spelled curtsy), which survives now only in traditional                             situations such as meeting royalty, or ending a stage performance.
signal
eyes | mouth | head | arms | hands | handshakes | legs and feet | personal space
legs and feet - body                         language
Legs and feet body language is more difficult to control consciously                             or fake than some body language of arms and hands and face. Legs and feet can                             therefore provide good clues to feelings and moods, if you know the signs.
Men and women sit differently, which needs to be considered when                             reading leg body language. Partly due to clothing and partly due to sexual                             differences, men naturally exhibit more open leg positions than women, which                             should be allowed for when interpreting signals. Certain open-leg male                             positions are not especially significant in men, but would be notable in women,                             especially combined with a short skirt.
Older women tend to adopt more modest closed leg positions than                             younger women, due to upbringing, social trends, equality and clothing. Again                             take account of these influences when evaluating signals.
Also consider that when people sit for half-an-hour or more they                             tend to change their leg positions, which can include leg crossing purely for                             comfort reasons. Again allow for this when interpreting signals.
Leg signals tend to be supported by corresponding arms signals, for                             example crossed arms and crossed legs, which aside from comfort reasons                             generally indicate detachment, disinterest, rejection or insecurity, etc.
N.B. Where the terms 'leg crossing' and 'crossed legs' are used                             alone, this refers to the legs being crossed at both knees. The 'American' or                             'Figure-4' leg cross entails the supporting leg being crossed just above the                             knee by the ankle or lower calf of the crossing leg. This makes a figure-4                             shape, hence the name. The posture is also called the American leg cross                             because of its supposed popularity in the US compared to the UK, notably among                             males.
signal
eyes | mouth | head | arms | hands | handshakes | legs and feet | personal space
personal space
The technical term for the personal space aspect of body language is proxemics. The word was devised by Edward Twitchell Hall (b.1914), an                             American anthropologist and writer on body language and non-verbal                             communications, especially relating to cross-cultural understanding. His 1963                             book, Proxemics, A Study of Man's Spacial Relationship, no doubt helped                             popularize the new word. Here is Edward Twitchell Hall's                             website - he's an interesting character, and one of the founding fathers of                             modern body language theory. His other books are listed in the body language references section below. Robert Ardrey is cited by Julius Fast as another significant expert and                             writer in personal space.
Proxemics - personal space - is defined as (the study of) the amount of space that people find comfortable between themselves and others.
Personal space dimensions depend notably on the individual, cultural                             and living background, the situation, and relationships, however some general                             parameters apply to most people, which for Western societies, are shown                             below.
There are five distinct space zones, which were originally                             identified by Edward T Hall, and which remain the basis of personal space                             analysis today. The first zone is sometimes shown as a single zone comprising                             two sub-zones.
zone
 
mirroring - matching body                         language signals
When body language and speech characteristics are mirrored or                             synchronized between people this tends to assist the process of creating and                             keeping rapport (a mutual feeling of empathy, understanding, trust).
The term synchronized is arguably a more accurate technical term                             because mirroring implies visual signals only, when the principles of matching                             body language extend to audible signals also - notably speech pace, pitch,                             tone, etc.
'Mirrored' or synchronized body language between two people                             encourages feelings of trust and rapport because it generates unconscious                             feelings of affirmation.
When another person displays similar body language to our own, this                             makes us react unconsciously to feel, "This person is like me and agrees with                             the way I am. I like this person because we are similar, and he/she likes me                             too."
The converse effect applies. When two people's body language signals                             are different - i.e., not synchronized - they feel less like each other, and                             the engagement is less comfortable. Each person senses a conflict arising from                             the mismatching of signals - the two people are not affirming each other;                             instead the mismatched signals translate into unconscious feelings of discord,                             discomfort or even rejection. The unconscious mind thinks, "This person is not                             like me; he/she is different to me, I am not being affirmed, therefore I feel                             defensive."
Advocates and users of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) use                             mirroring consciously, as a method of 'getting in tune' with another person,                             and with a little practice are able to first match and then actually and gently                             to alter the signals - and supposedly thereby the feelings and attitudes - of                             other people, using mirroring techniques.
Speech pace or speed is an example. When you are speaking with                             someone, first match their pace of speaking, then gently change your pace -                             slower or faster - and see if the other person follows you. Often they will                             do.
People, mostly being peaceful cooperative souls, commonly quite                             naturally match each other's body language. To do otherwise can sometimes feel                             uncomfortable, even though we rarely think consciously about it.
When another person leans forward towards us at a table, we often                             mirror and do likewise. When they lean back and relax, we do the same.
Sales people and other professional communicators are widely taught                             to mirror all sorts of more subtle signals, as a means of creating trust and                             rapport with the other person, and to influence attitudes.
Mirroring in this conscious sense is not simply copying or                             mimicking. Mirroring is effective when movements and gestures are reflected in                             a similar way so that the effect remains unconscious and subtle. Obvious                             copying would be regarded as strange or insulting.
 
body language of seating                         positioning in relation to others
Lots of unnecessary friction is created in work and communications                             situations due to ignorance and lack of thought about seating positions.
The 'science' of where people sit in relation to each other, and on                             what and around what, is fascinating and offers opportunities for improving                             relationships, communications, cooperation and understanding.
Here are some guidelines.
These points are generally for the purpose of a leader or someone                             aspiring to lead, or coach, counsel, etc. They also relate to one-to-one                             situations like appraisals, interviews, etc.
Sitting opposite someone creates a feeling of confrontation. For                             one-to-one meetings, especially with emotional potential (appraisals for                             example) take care to arrange seating before the meeting to avoid                             opposite-facing positions. If you cannot arrange the seating give very                             deliberate thought to seating positions before you sit down and/or before you                             invite the other person to sit - don't just let it happen because commonly,                             strangely, people often end up sitting opposite if free to do so.
Consider the rules about personal                             space . Do not place chairs so close together that personal space will be                             invaded. Conversely sitting too far apart will prevent building feelings of                             trust and private/personal discussion.
Sitting opposite someone across a table or desk adds a barrier to                             the confrontational set-up and can create a tension even when the relationship                             is good and strong. It's easy to forget this and to find yourself sitting                             opposite someone when there are only two of you at the table. Sitting opposite                             across a table is okay for lovers gazing into each other's eyes, but not good                             for work, counselling, coaching, etc.
Sitting behind a work-desk (the boss behind his/her own desk                             especially) and having someone (especially a subordinate) sit in a less                             expensive lower chair across the desk emphasises authority of the boss and adds                             unhelpfully to the barrier and the confrontational set-up. This seating                             arrangement will increase the defensiveness of anyone already feeling insecure                             or inferior. This positioning is favoured by certain bosses seeking to                             reinforce their power, but it is not helpful in most modern work situations,                             and is not a good way to increase respectful natural authority anyway.                             Incidentally the expression 'on the carpet' - meaning being told off or                             'bollocked' - derives from the extreme form of this positional strategy, when                             the victim, called into the office would stand to receive their bollocking on                             the carpet in front of the boss who sat high and mighty behind his desk. (The                             boss would typically be male, and beaten/abused/neglected as a child, but                             that's another story.)
Sitting at a diagonal angle of about 45 degrees to another person is                             a comfortable and cooperative arrangement. This is achieved naturally by both                             sitting around the same corner of a square table, which also enables papers to                             be seen together without too much twisting.
The same angle is appropriate for and easy-chairs around a                             coffee-table. A table ceases to become a barrier when people are sitting at a                             diagonal angle, instead it becomes a common work surface for studying papers,                             or exploring issues together.
Sitting side by side on a settee is not a good arrangement for                             working relationships. It threatens personal space, and obstructs                             communications.
Low settees and easy-chairs and low coffee tables cause people to                             sink and relax back are usually unhelpful for work meetings. For this reason                             much seating in hotel lounges is entirely unsuitable for work meetings. People                             naturally are more alert and focused using higher formal table and chairs.
Interviews and appraisals can benefit from relaxed or more formal                             seating depending on the situation. Importantly - make a conscious choice about                             furniture depending on the tone of the meeting, and how relaxed you want the                             meeting to be.
The 45-degree rule is approximate, and anyway under most                             circumstances seating angles are influenced by furniture and available space.                             Importantly, simply try to avoid opposite or side-by-side positions. An angle                             between these two extremes is best - somewhere in the range of 30-60 degrees if                             you want to be technical about it.
Round tables are better than square or oblong tables for group and                             team meetings. Obviously this works well because no-one is at the head of the                             table, which promotes a feeling of equality and teamwork. King Arthur - or the                             creator of the legend (King Arthur and the Knights of the Round Table) - opted                             for a round table for this reason. The term 'round table' has come to symbolise                             teamwork and fairness, etc., for a long time. Unfortunately round tables aren't                             common in offices, which means thinking carefully about best seating                             arrangements for square or oblong tables.
A confident leader will be happy to avoid taking the 'head of the                             table' position, instead to sit among the team, especially if there are                             particular reasons for creating a cooperative atmosphere.
Conversely it is perfectly normal for a leader to take the 'head of                             the table' if firmness is required in chairing or mediating, etc. It is usually                             easier to chair a meeting from the head of the table position.
Theory suggests that when a group sits around a table the person                             sitting on the leader's right will generally be the most loyal and aligned to                             the leader's thinking and wishes. A (likely) mythical origin is said to be that                             in Roman times a leader would place their most loyal supporter to their right                             because this was the most advantageous position from which to attempt an                             assassination by stabbing (given that most people then as now were                             right-handed). Assassination by stabbing is rare in modern work meetings, so                             positioning an opponent on your right side (instead of allowing the normal                             opposite positioning to happen) can be a useful tactic since this indicates                             confidence and strength.
In large gatherings of 20-30 people or more, a 'top table' is often                             appropriate for the leader and guest speakers. While this seems like a                             throwback to more autocratic times, it is perfectly workable. Groups of people                             above a certain size are far more likely to expect firm direction/leadership,                             if not in making decisions, certainly to keep order and ensure smooth running                             of proceedings. Therefore seating arrangements for large groups should provide                             a clear position of control for the chairperson or event leaders.
 
body language in                         different cultures
Here are some brief pointers concerning body language variations and                             gestures in cultures which differ from Western (US/UK notably) behaviour.
I welcome refinements and additions to this section. Please send any you can contribute.
People in/from parts of India may to shake their head from side to                             side as a sign of agreement and active listening. In the UK/west we tend to nod                             our head to agree and affirm and to show we are listening; in India it is not                             unusual for people to move their heads from side to side in giving these                             reactions. It is also seen as respectful practice. (Thanks S Churchill.                             Incidentally on this point, sideways head-shaking of this sort is not a                             vigorous twisting movement; it is usually more of a sideways tilting of the                             head from one side to the other.)
This point (thanks R Fox) concerns eye contact. Eye contact (other                             than unwanted staring) is generally regarded as a positive aspect of body                             language in Western cultures, which in this context typically refers to white                             European people and descendents. A specific difference regarding eye contact                             can be found in some black Caribbean cultures however, whereby young people                             tend to be instructed not look at someone eye to eye when being told off or                             disciplined. When cultures meet obviously this provides potential for friction,                             given the 'Western' expectation in such situations, for example, "Look at me                             when I'm talking to you".
Filipino people (and in fact many other people of all races) can                             find it offensive/uncomfortable when beckoned by a repeatedly curled index                             finger - the gesture evokes feelings of having done something wrong and being                             chastised for it.
In some Australian Aboriginal cultures, it is disrespectful to look                             an elder, or person of a rank above you, in the eyes. It is a sign of respect                             to drop your eyes, (whereas in Western culture not meeting somebody's gaze is                             commonly considered to be a negative sign, indicating deceit, lying, lack of                             attention, lack of confidence, etc).
In Arab countries the thumbs-up gesture is rude. Showing the soles                             of the feet is insulting/rude in many Asian and Arab cultures, especially                             pointing the foot or feet at anyone. Feet are considered 'inferior' parts of                             the body compared with the dignity of the face. In Arab culture the left hand                             and right hands have religious connotations which generally dictate that the                             left hand is not used for touching (for example shaking hands) or eating. Arab                             handshaking tends to be more frequent and less firm - on meeting and departing,                             even several times in the same day.
The eyebrow flash may be considered rude or to carry sexual                             connotations in Japanese culture. Informal male-female touching is less common                             and can be considered improper in Japan.
The American-style 'OK' sign - a circle made with thumb and                             index-finger with other fingers fanned or outstretched - is a rude gesture in                             some cultures, notably Latin America, Germany and the Middle East.
Beckoning gestures in Eastern cultures are commonly made with the                             palm down, whereas Western beckoning is generally palm up.
The offensive British/Western two-fingered V-sign is not necessarily                             offensive in Japan and may be considered positive like the Western                             palm-outwards 'victory' or 'peace' V-sign in the West.
In some countries, Greece, Turkey and Bulgaria for example, moving                             the head up/down or from side to side may have additional or different meanings                             to those conventionally interpreted in the UK/US. Specifically, in Turkey,                             aside from using conventional (US/UK-style) head nodding and shaking, some                             people may also signal 'no' by moving their head up. (This is a refinement of                             previous details about head movements in body language, and I welcome more information especially from people                             overseas as to precise variations to US/UK conventional meanings in signally                             yes and no, and anything else, with head movements.)
In Japan the male bow is still commonly used, when the depth of the                             bow increases with the amount of respect shown, and is therefore a signal of                             relative status between two people.
In The Netherlands people touch the temple with the index finger in                             order to indicate someone (or an action) is smart or intelligent. Touching the                             forehead with the index finger means someone (or an action) is stupid or crazy.                             In Russia these meanings are reversed.
Here are some Japanese                             body language insights, especially for doing business in Japan (thanks                             R Wilkes):
High-pitched laughter means nervousness.
On introduction, do not offer a handshake. Depth of bow is                                 impossible to judge without immense experience: it is sufficient for a                                 Westerner to bow shallowly.
Business cards should be exchanged at the first possible                                 opportunity. The card received should be held in both hands and examined                                 carefully, and then stored, preferably in a wallet, on the upper half of the                                 body. Holding a person's identity in one hand is casual/disrespectful. The                                 trouser pocket is a rude place.
Blowing one's nose into a handkerchief in public is obscene.                                 (What other bodily waste do you wrap up in cotton and put in your pocket?..)
Japanese businesses (unless they cannot afford it) have two                                 types of meeting room: a Western style room with central table, and a room with                                 sofas. The sofa room is for non-antagonistic meetings. In general, the 45                                 degree rule seems to apply here - better to sit on adjacent sides than across                                 from one another. This room can be a great place to cut deals. Nevertheless,                                 the 'table' room is where transactions are formalised. There the host of the                                 meeting sits nearest to (and preferably with his back to) the door. (This is                                 probably chivalric in origin - he is first in the way of any invader to the                                 room.) His team sits on the same side of the table in descending rank. The                                 chief guest sits opposite him and similarly the minions decline to the side.                                 The head of the table is not generally used in bilateral (two parties) meetings                                 except by people brought in to advise on components of the agenda. A great boss                                 may spend much of the meeting with his eyes closed. He is considering what is                                 being said by the subordinates and does not need visual distraction. However,                                 if he has a firm steer to give, he will instruct his deputy and this will be                                 relayed immediately.
Loss of eye contact is quite normal with lower ranking people: if                                 they drop their head, this indicates deep thought.
Otherwise, pure body signals are quite similar to Western ones,                                 with one notable exception: touching the tip of the nose from straight ahead                                 signals 'I/me'.
The Japanese language does have a word for 'no' but it is rarely                                 used in business for fear of causing offence or loss of face. "Yes, but..." is                                 substantially more acceptable.
I welcome refinements and additions for body language in other                             cultures. Please send any you can contribute.
(Thanks to D Ofek, G van Duin, L Campbell, F Suzara, M Baniasadi, S                             Aydogmus, DD, and particularly to R Wilkes for the Japanese section.)
 
flirting,                             courtship, dating and mating - sexual body language
Many signals in flirting, dating and mating body language are covered                             in the general translation                             signals above, and the fundamental principles of social/work body language                             also apply to the development or blocking of sexual relationships.
Of course lots of flirting, and more, goes on at work, but for the                             purposes of this article it's easier to keep the two situations separate.
There are some differences which can completely change the nature of                             a signal given in a sexual context. Sitting opposite someone is an example, which is confrontational at work, but is often intimate and enabling for sexual                             and romantic relationships: full constant eye-to-eye contact is helpful for                             intimacy, as is full frontal facing between male and female for obvious                             reasons.
Personal space must also be considered in a different way in                             social-sexual situations compared to work and non-sexual situations: At work,                             the primary consideration is given to respecting the personal zones and not                             invading closer than the situation warrants. In a sexual flirting context                             however, personal space becomes the arena for ritual and play, and within                             reason is more of a game than a set of fixed limits.
Dancing is further example of how body language operates at a                             different level in sexual-social situations. Different tolerances and tacit                             (implied) permissions apply. It's a ritual and a game which humans have played                             for thousands of years.
Dancing relates strongly to the attention stage of the                             dating/mating/courtship process. In many ways courtship echoes the selling and                             advertising model AIDA (Attention,                             Interest, Desire, Action). This is also known as the Hierarchy of Effects,                             since steps must be successfully completed in order to achieve the sale at the                             end. For example, nothing happens without first attracting attention, a point                             commonly ignored by people looking for a mate. The attention stage is even more                             critical in crowded and highly competitive environments such as nightclubs and                             dating websites.
And while not technically part of body language, environment is a                             vital aspect of dating and mating. The environment in which the dating activity                             is pursued equates to market/audience-targeting in business. People seeking a                             mate are effectively marketing themselves. Commonly people head to where                             everyone else goes - to nightclubs and dating websites - but crucially these                             environments are highly unsuitable markets for many people, for instance those                             not good at dancing, and those not good at writing and communicating online.                             Just as a business needs to find the best markets and ways of reaching its                             target audience, so in dating people can seek environments where they can best                             display their strengths and where relevant 'buyers' will be.
Knowing about flirting body language becomes more useful in a                             favourable environment.
female indications of interest in a male
Females have very many more ways of attracting attention to                             themselves than males, and so are able to express interest and availability in                             far more ways than males tend to do.
Female interest in males is relatively selective. Male interest in                             females is by comparison constant and indiscriminate.
This is due fundamentally to human mating behaviour, evolved over                             many thousands of years, in which essentially women control the chase and the                             choice, and men respond primarily to female availability and permissions. These                             differences in behaviour perhaps mainly exist because females produce one                             viable egg per month, about 500 in a lifetime, whereas males make several                             hundred sperm every day. Do the math, as they say.
As with interpreting body language generally, beware of concluding                             anything based on a single signal. Clusters of signals are more reliable. Foot                             pointing, knee pointing, and leg-crossing signals can all be due simply to                             comfort, rather than expressions of interest or sexual appeal.
Aside from the specific flirting and sexual attraction signs below,                             females also express interest using the general signalling explained in the                             earlier sections, e.g., prolonged direct eye contact, active responsive                             listening, attentive open alert postures and body positions, etc.
Here are the most common female flirting body language signals and                             meanings, according to experts on the subject:
eye contact - anything more than a glance indicates initial                             interest.
eye catch and look away - establishing eye contact then                             looking away or down is said by many experts to be the standard initial signal                             of interest designed to hook male reaction. The reliability of the signal                             meaning is strengthened when repeated and/or reinforced with longer                             eye-contact.
eye-widening - interest, simultaneously increasing                             attractiveness/appeal.
eyelash flicker - subtle movement of eyelashes to widen eyes                             briefly.
pupil dilating - interest, liking what is seen, arousal.
looking sideways up - lowering head, slightly sideways, and                             looking up - also known as doe-eyes, with eyelashes normally slightly lowered -                             displays interest and vulnerability/coyness, most famously employed by Diana                             Princess of Wales, notably in her interview with Martin Bashir in battle for                             public sympathy following her split with Prince Charles.
shoulder glance - looking sideways towards the target over                             the shoulder signals availability, and hence interest.
smiling - obvious sign of welcoming and friendliness.
moistening lips - lips are significant in signalling because                             (psychologists say) they mimic the female labia, hence the potency of red                             lipstick (suggesting increased blood flow) and moistening/licking the lips.
parted lips - significant and potent attraction signal.
preening - especially of hair, which exposes the soft                             underarm.
flicking hair - often combined with a slight tossing movement                             of the head.
canting (tilting) head - also exposes neck.
showing inner wrist or forearm - a soft vulnerable area and                             erogenous zone.
straightening posture - standing taller, chest out, stomach                             in - a natural response to feeling the urge to appear more appealing.
self-touching - drawing attention to sexually appealing parts                             of the body; neck, hair, cleavage, thigh, etc. - additionally self-touching is                             said to represent transference/imagining of being touched - and of course                             demonstration of what it would be like for the target to do the touching;                             teasing in other words.
self thigh-stroking - usually while sitting down - same as                             self-touching.
standing opposite - normally a confrontational positioning,                             but in flirting allows direct eye contact and optimizes engagement. Refer also                             to personal space rules: less than 4ft between                             people is personal; less than 18 inches is intimate and only sustainable when                             there is some mutual interest and attraction, especially when direct facing and                             not in a crowded environment. N.B. Crowded environments distort the personal                             space rules, where implied permissions (e.g., for public transport and dense                             crowds or queues) override normal interpretations.
leaning forward - sitting or standing; leaning forwards                             towards a person indicates interest and attraction.
foot pointing - direction can indicate person of                             interest.
knee-pointing - as foot pointing.
leg twine - a tight-leg cross 'aimed' (combined with eye                             contact) at a target, or when sitting one-to-one, increases sexual allure since                             it emphasises leg shape and tone. When employed flirtatiously, female leg                             crossing and uncrossing also has obvious sexual connotations and stimulates                             basic urges in males.
shoe-dangling - positive signal of relaxation or of greater                             promise, especially if the foot thrusts in and out of the shoe.
pouting - pouting involves tightening the lips together; the                             tongue rises to the roof of the mouth as if ready to swallow. Pouting displays                             various emotions, not always a sexual one, for example projection of the lower                             lip indicates upset. An attraction pout looks more like the initial forming of                             a kiss.
picking fluff - removing fluff, hair, etc., from the target's                             clothes is playing in the intimate personal space zone, in which the fluff                             picking is merely a pretext or excuse.
fondling cylindrical objects - phallic transference, for                             instance using pens, a dangling earring, a wine glass stem, etc.
mirroring - mirroring or synchronizing gestures and positions                             is a signal of interest and attraction. See mirroring .
When considering body language in such detail, remember that males                             and females rely greatly on conversation and verbal communication to determine                             mutual attraction as soon as the situation allows. Body language in flirting                             can be significant in indicating a strong match, but just as easily can merely                             be an initial filtering stage which progresses no further because other                             (infinitely variable) personal or situational criteria on either or both sides                             are not met.
Also bear in mind that a lot of flirting happens for fun with no                             intention of proceeding to sexual or romantic attachment.
The purpose of this page is chiefly to explain body language                             signals, not to explain human relationships.
male interest in females
As stated earlier there are reasons for the relative sparseness of                             male signals compared to female flirting signals.
Most men are interested perpetually in most women, and therefore                             male signals are generally designed to attract the attention of any females,                             rather than directed at one female in particular.
Male interest is basically always switched on and ready to respond                             to opportunity when female availability and interest are signalled and                             noticed.
Men believe they take the lead, but actually mostly women do.
Male signals of interest in females essentially follow normal body                             language rules, for example widening eyes, dilated pupils, forward leaning, prolonged direct eye contact, active listening reactions, and these come into                             play once eye contact and/or proximity is established.
The most prevalent signals males use to announce their availability                             and attract female attention are summarised below. Under many circumstances                             these might be categorised under the headings 'pathetic' or 'amusing'. The male                             of the species, despite a couple of million years of evolution, has yet to                             develop much subtle body language in this area.
posturing - erect stance, chest out, shoulders back, stomach                             in.
wide stance - legs apart (standing or sitting) - to increase                             size.
cowboy stance - thumbs in belt loops, fingers pointing to                             genital area.
hands in pockets - thumbs out and pointing to genitals.
'chest-thumping' - a metaphor describing various male antics                             designed to draw attention to themselves, often involving play-punching or                             wresting other males, laughing too loudly, head-tossing, acting the fool,                             etc.
room scanning - males who are available and looking for                             females tend to scan the room, partly to look for available females, but also                             to indicate they are available themselves.
dress - clothing: style, fit, cleanliness, etc - is all an                             extension of personality and is therefore part of body language.
preening and grooming - adjusting clothes, ties, cuffs,                             sleeves, tugging at trouser crotch, running hands through or over hair,                             etc.
smell - certain smells are attractive to females but it's a                             complex and highly personal area yet to be understood well. Answers on a                             postcard please.
tattoos - here's an interesting one, commonly ignored in                             conventional body language flirting guides. Tattoos have dramatically altered                             in society's perceptions in the past generation. Previously considered                             indicative of lower class, lower intellect, sailors, soldiers, builders, etc.,                             nowadays they are everywhere on everyone. Tattoos have been a significant part                             of human customs for thousands of years. They are decorative, and also (in                             evolutionary terms) suggested strength and machismo, since the process of                             obtaining them was painful and even life-threatening. Certain females are                             attracted by tattoos on men, especially extensive markings. It's a drastic step                             to improve one's love life, but worthy of note, because the subject is not as                             simple and negative as traditionally regarded. Tattoos are significant                             attention-grabbers, and given the variety of subjects featured, also provide                             interesting talking points.
body piercings - again more complex than traditionally                             considered, piercings do attract attention and signify the wearer to be                             different.
dancing - dancing, in a suitable place of course, has for                             thousands of years been an opportunity for males and females to display their                             physical and sexual potential. With the exception perhaps of pogo-ing and                             head-banging most dance styles replicate sexual movements - lots of rhythmic                             hip and leg work, contorted facial expressions, sweating and occasional                             grunting, etc. For those blessed with a level of coordination dancing offers an                             effective way of attracting attention, especially in crowded competitive                             situations. For the less rhythmic, the lesson is to find a different                             environment.
stages of courtship
The initial stages of a (usually) male-female sexual relationship                             are commonly represented as quite a structured process, summarised below.
Incidentally courtship traditionally refers to the early stages of a                             male-female relationship leading up to sex, babies, marriage and family life,                             (followed for many by mutual tolerance/indifference/loathing and acrimonious                             break-up). Flirting is a common modern term for the early stages of courtship,                             or the beginnings of extra-marital affairs, which is misleading since most                             flirting happens for fun and rarely progresses beyond non-sexual touching.
If considering flirting/courtship body language in the context of                             dating and mating, it's useful to recall the selling and advertising model AIDA (Attention, Interest, Desire,                             Action), and especially that nothing happens without first attracting                             attention.
Significantly, women are said generally make the first move - by                             signalling interest through establishing eye contact, and then confusingly for                             men, looking away.
The process can disintegrate at any moment, often before it begins,                             because most men are too interested in themselves or the bloody football on the                             pub telly to notice the eye contact.
Where the process reaches past the first stage, here broadly is how                             it is said by body language experts to unfold:
Eye contact (females typically lower or avert their eyes once                                 firm contact is made).
Returned eye contact (by male).
Mutual smiling.
Preening, grooming, posturing (male and female).
Moving together as regards personal space (male typically walks                                 to female).
Talking.
Attentive active listening (or simulation of this, sufficient                                 mutually to retain sense of mutual interest).
Synchronizing/mirroring each other's body language.
Touching (more significantly by the female; subtle touching can                                 happen earlier, and at this stage can become more intimate and daring).
A generation ago this process took a little longer than it does                             today. Alcohol accelerates things even more.
You'll see variations of the above sequence in body language books,                             and no doubt in real life too.
Males tend to react to obvious signs of availability shown by                             females but miss many subtle signals.
Females give lots of subtle signals, tend not to repeat them too                             often, and infer lack of interest in a male failing to respond.
It's a wonder that anyone gets together at all.
The fact that most people do confirms that courtship is more complex                             than we readily understand.
 
bowing and curtseying                         body language
Although now rare in Western society bowing and curtseying are                             interesting because they illustrate the status and relationship aspects of body                             language, which are so significant in one-to-one situations.
Bowing - Bowing is mainly a male gesture. Bending the upper                             body downwards towards another person or group is a signal of appreciation or                             subservience. The bow was in olden times a standard way for men to greet or                             acknowledge another person of perceived or officially higher status. The bow is                             also a gesture of appreciation and thanks which survives in entertainment and                             performance. Male bowing traditionally varied from a modest nod of the head, to                             a very much more pronounced bend of the body from the hips. Depth of bend                             reflects depth of respect or appreciation. For added dramatic effect the feet                             may be moved tightly together. A very traditional Western bow involves a deeper bend combined with the (normally) right-leg pushing backwards or 'scraping' on                             the ground, hence the expression 'bowing and scraping'. The effect can be                             augmented by the bower's hand pressing horizontally on the stomach, and the                             other arm extended, or sweeping extravagantly in a circular motion, made all                             the more dramatic if combined with removing a hat. Such behaviour is rare                             outside of Christmas pantomimes these days, however interestingly even in                             modern times you will see men slightly nodding their heads in an involuntary                             'semi-bow' when meeting a person and wishing to show respect or admiration. As                             such, the small nod or bow of a head can be a clue to perceived seniority in                             relationships. Bowing has long been more significant and complex in Eastern                             cultures, where the gesture carries a similar deferential meaning, albeit it                             within more formal protocols and traditions. The fundamental body language of                             bowing is rooted in showing subservience by lowering one's gaze and body,                             literally putting the bower at a lower level than the other person. Bowing                             remains significant in Japanese culture.
Curtsey/curtsy - The curtsey is the female equivalent of the                             male bow, and in their most extreme versions curtseying and bowing gestures are                             quite similar. A curtsey is a bend of the knees, combined with a slight bow of                             the head, and sometimes a lifting of the skirt or dress at each side, at                             knee-height, by both hands. This skirt-lift dates from olden times when this                             prevented a long skirt from touching wet or muddy ground. The female curtsey                             gesture survives in traditional situations such as meeting royalty, or ending a                             stage or dance performance, in which you might see an older more flamboyant and                             deeper curtsey entailing one knee bending sideways and the other leg bending                             behind. Curtseying has effectively now been replaced by handshaking, although                             as with male bowing it is possible sometimes to see small head bows by women                             when meeting and shaking hands with someone regarded as superior or                             important.
Bowing and curtseying as conscious intentional gestures have                             effectively disappeared from Western behaviour, but importantly people's body                             language continues to give much smaller unconscious signals which can be linked                             to these old formal gestures and their meanings.
 
body language glossary
This is not an exhaustive collection of body language terminology -                             just a summary of the main and most interesting definitions.
absorbed actions - actions stimulated through unconscious mirroring .
active listening - listening very attentively and empathizing                             and reflecting back understanding through body language and usually words                             too.
adaptors - small signals given when anxious or when behaving                             in a way that does not comfortably match the feelings, for example lip-biting                             or face-touching, which are self-comforting signals.
alerting/announcement gestures - indicating need to speak,                             for example raising a hand, or taking a breath and lifting the shoulders.
american leg cross - the 'American' or 'Figure-4' leg cross                             entails the supporting leg being crossed just above the knee by the ankle or                             lower calf of the crossing leg. This makes a figure-4 shape, hence the name.                             The posture is called the American leg cross because of its supposed popularity                             in the US compared to the UK, notably among males.
anthropology - the study of humankind in all respects -                             especially culturally, socially and in evolutionary terms, and how these key                             aspects inter-relate. The word anthropology is from Greek anthropos meaning                             human being. Anthropology, like psychology and ethnology and ethology, is a                             science which over-arches the study of body language, and provides useful (and                             for serious students, essential) context for understanding the reasons and                             purposes of body language. Anthropology has been studied one way or another for                             thousands of years and became established under that name in the 1500s. The                             Human Genome project, which basically mapped the human genetic code (started                             1990, completed in 2003, and ongoing) is probably the largest anthropological                             study ever performed.
asymmetric/asymmetry - describing gestures or facial                             expressions, especially a smile, that are not symmetrical (equal on both                             sides), which tends to indicate incongruence or a mixed signal and not what it                             might initially seem to mean.
auto-contact - describing self-touching gestures and actions.
autonomic/automatic signals - effectively involuntary                             stress-induced physiological behaviours, such as crying, shaking, blushing,                             quickened pulse-rate, and in extreme cases retching, vomiting, fainting, etc.                             Involuntary in the sense that it is virtually impossible to control these                             signals because they are controlled by the very basic part of the brain                             responsible for our most basic bodily functions. Breathing rate is perhaps the                             exception, which while in many cases will speed as a physiological response to                             stress, can often be controlled and slowed or deepened given suitable conscious                             effort.
back-channel signals - positive body language reactions to a                             speaker.
baton signals - gestures which reinforce the rhythm of                             speech.
barrier - describing signals in which the hands or arms or a                             table, or adjusting clothing, etc., form a defence or obstruction between two                             people, such a folded arms.
buttress stance - weight bearing leg is straight, while the                             front leg is forward, usually with the foot pointing outwards from the body.                             Regarded as a signal of reluctance or readiness to depart.
cluster - term for a group of body language signals, which                             more reliably indicate meaning or mood than a single signal.
cognitive dissonance - conflicting understanding or feelings                             - cognition is understanding things through thought; dissonance is disharmony                             or conflict. This is a widely used term in psychology and the effect arises                             very commonly in relationships and communications. Conflicting body language                             signals can sometimes indicate this attitude or reaction in a person.
compliance - submissive behaviour, hence compliance signals                             or signs, which indicate this.
courtship - an old term for (typically) male-female relations                             from initial meeting through to going-out relationship stage. Courtship in                             olden times (broadly since the middle ages up until the mid-late 1900s)                             referred to quite formal steps of increasing familiarity between male and                             female, through to intimacy, perhaps with a little touching of hands or                             kissing, and lots of going out for walks and visits to the cinema or theatre,                             etc. Sex might not rear its scary head for weeks, months or years; and                             sometimes, especially if the female was from an elite or religiously obsessed                             family, not until the wedding night. Nowadays 'courtship' is a much speedier                             affair and among modern young people can be started, fully consummated and                             effectively forgotten in a matter of minutes.
denial - signals of denial effectively undo or contradict                             more conscious typically false or manufactured body language, thereby betraying                             true feeling or motive.
displacement - a stress signal typically prompted by                             suppression of natural reaction due to fear or other inhibition, for example                             biting fingernails, picking at finger(s) or thumb.
distraction - signalling prompted by stress, usually quite                             inappropriate to the needs of the situation, for example stretching and                             relaxing, or pausing to take a drink when an emergency arises.
emotional intelligence - also known as EQ, Emotional Intelligence is based on 'feeling intelligence' (rather than IQ - Intelligence                             Quotient - based on logical intelligence), and the capability to understand and                             communicate with others very empathically, which requires awareness of                             emotional behaviour and ability to deal with people sensitively. See Emotional Intelligence .
emphatic/emphasizing gestures - gestures which reinforce the                             meaning of spoken words, e.g., jabbing fingers, weighing hands.
erogenous zone - any part of the human body particularly                             sensitive to touching and sexual arousal - the word erogenous first appeared in                             the late 1800s which suggests when the effect was first analysed and recorded                             in any serious sense. The word erogenous derives from Eros, the Greek god of                             love (Cupid is Roman), from which the word erotic also derives. Erogenous zones                             contain high concentration of nerve endings and are significant in flirting and                             sex. Aside from the obvious genital areas and bottoms and breasts, erogenous                             zones include necks, inner side of arms and wrists, armpits and lips.                             Incidentally the G in G-spot is named after Ernst Grafenberg (1881-1957) a                             German-born gynaecological doctor and scientist who as well as being an expert                             on the female orgasm, was first to invent and commercially market a IUD                             (intrauterine device or coil) for female birth control.
ethnology - the study of different ethnic people and their                             differences and relationships. Ethnology is a branch of anthropology, concerned                             with ethnic effects, and where this involves behaviour it certainly relates to                             body language. The word ethnology is derived from Greek ethnos meaning nation.                             The establishment of the science and word ethnology is credited to                             Slovakian/Austrian Adam Franz Kollar (1718-1783), a nobleman, professor and                             librarian who became a Court Councilor for the Habsburg Monarchy of the Kingdom                             of Hungary, as it once was. The modern study and awareness of ethnology is                             arguably hampered by sensitivities around racism. Ethnic differences between                             people obviously exist, and ironically where over-sensitivity to racism and                             equality obstructs debate, society's understanding of these issues remains                             clouded and confused.
ethology - ethology is primarily the science of animal                             behaviour, but increasingly extends to human behaviour and social organization.                             The word ethology first appeared in English in the late 1800s, derived from the                             Greek word ethos meaning character or disposition. Ethology became properly                             established during the early 1900s. Austrian zoologist and 1973 Nobel                             Prizewinner Konrad Lorenz (1903-89) was a founding figure. Desmond Morris,                             author of The Naked Ape, is an ethologist. So is the evolutionary biologist                             Richard Dawkins. Where ethology considers animal evolution and communications,                             it relates strongly to human body language. Charles Darwin's work pioneered                             much ethological thinking.
eye flash - a sudden direct glance to attract attention or                             warn, usually followed by some other more specific signal.
eyebrow flash - quickly raising and lowering both eyebrows -                             typically in greetings, recognition, acknowledgement, or surprise. An eyebrow                             flash can therefore also be a signal of positive interest.
eye shrug - upwards eye-roll signalling frustration.
face frame - framing the face with the hands to hold or                             attract listeners' attention.
haptics - the study of human touch, from the Greek word                             haptikos, meaning able to touch. The word haptics in this sense entered the                             English language in the 1800s, which indicates when human touch began to be a                             serious area of study.
hybrid expression - a term apparently originated by Charles                             Darwin, it refers to a facial expression which combines two seemingly different                             or opposing meanings, for example a smile with a head-turn away from the person                             the smile is meant for. Hybrid expressions provide further emphasis of the need                             to avoid reading single signals. Combinations of signals and context are                             necessary, especially to make sense of hybrid expressions which contain                             different meanings.
illustrative gesture - gestures which shape or describe the                             physical dimensions of something by using the hands in the air.
index finger - first finger of the hand - usually the most                             dominant and dexterous finger, hence used mostly in pointing gestures.
kine - an obscure term describing a single body language                             signal (devised by body language expert Dr Ray Birdwhistell, c.1952, from the                             longer term kinesics).
kinesics - the scientific  term for the sudy of body language, and more loosely meaning body language itself. Kinesics is pronounced 'kineesicks' with stress on the 'ee'). The word                             kinesics was first used in English in this sense in the 1950s, from the Greek                             word kinesis, meaning motion.
labial tractors - a wonderful term for the muscles around the                             mouth. The word labial in phonetics means closure or part closure of the mouth,                             and additionally refers to the resulting vowel sounds produced, like w, oo,                             etc.
leakage - leakage signals are the small signs which are most                             difficult to control or mask, and which therefore offer clues even when someone                             is generally in good control of their outgoing body language signals.
mask/masking - using body language, usually intentionally, to                             deceive others as to true feelings or motives.
metronome/metronomic signals - these are any rhythmic                             tappings or movements which indicate a readiness or self-prompting to speak or                             take action- a termed devised by body language expert Judi James.
micro-gestures - tiny body language 'leakage' signals, often                             unconsciously sent and interpreted, more likely to be seen and reacted to                             unconsciously rather than consciously, unless concentrating determinedly.
mime/miming gestures - gestures used consciously to convey a                             specific message, such as extending the thumb and little finger by the ear to                             say "Phone me," or wiping imaginary sweat from the brow to express relief after                             a crisis subsides.
mirroring - the synchronizing or matching of body language                             (and speech characteristics), usually between two people, which helps build                             feelings of trust and empathy. Mirroring works like this because similar signals produce unconscious feelings of                             affirmation. When a person's signals are mirrored the unconscious mind thinks,                             "This person is like me and agrees with the way I am. I like this person                             because we are similar, and he/she likes me too." See NLP (Neuro-Linguistic                             Programming) , and Empathy . Pacing refers to the                             mirroring of someone's speed of movements.
NLP/Neuro-linguistic programming - a branch of psychology                             developed in the 1960s which combines language, body movement and thought to                             optimise self-control and development, and relationships and communications                             with others. NLP research has fuelled much of the analytical aspects of modern                             popular body language, notably mirroring and eye movements .
palm - inside surface of the hand - significant in body                             language because an open palm has for thousands of years indicated that no                             weapon is concealed, which survives as perhaps a genetically inherited signal                             of peace, cooperation, submissiveness, etc.
phallus/phallic - phallus means penis, from the ancient Greek                             word phallos of the same meaning. Phallic refers to something which looks like                             or represents a penis, often called a phallic symbol. Phallic symbols are                             prevalent in psychology and aspects of flirting or sexual body language. The                             female equivalent term is a yonic symbol, from yoni, Hindu for vulva and a                             symbolic circular stone representing divine procreation. Yoni was originally an                             old Sanskrit word, meaning source or womb.
physiognomy - an obscure yet related concept to body                             language. Physiognomy refers to facial features and expressions which indicate                             the person's character or nature, or ethnic origin. The word physiognomy is                             derived from medieval Latin, and earlier Greek (phusiognominia), meaning (the                             art or capability of) judging a person's nature from his/her facial features                             and expressions.
physiology - the branch of biology concerned with how living                             organisms function, notably parts of the human body.
physiological signals - body language produced by the                             unconscious basic brain which controls bodily functions, which in body language                             can be signals such as sweating, blushing, breathlessness, yawning, weeping,                             feeling faint, nauseous, repulsion, etc.
primary emotions - first identified by Charles Darwin,                             typically represented as happiness, sadness, disgust, anger, fear, surprise,                             and linked to universal facial                             expressions and recognition .
proxemics - the technical term for the personal space aspect                             of body language. The word and much of the fundamental theory was devised by                             Edward Twitchell Hall, an American anthropologist in the late 1950s and early                             1960s. The word is Hall's adaptation of the word proximity, meaning closeness                             or nearness.
pseudo-infantile gestures - gestures of childlike                             vulnerability, often made to avert attack, attract sympathy, or to induce                             feelings of compassion, attention, etc.
pupil - the round black centre of the eye which enlarges or                             contracts to let more or less light into the eye. The pupil generally enlarges                             (dilates) in the dark, and contracts in brightness. Enlarged pupils are also                             associated with desire and allure. Enlarged pupils are not a symptom of smoking                             drugs as commonly believed. This is probably a confusion arising from the fact                             that conditions are relatively dark when such judgements are made.
rictus - a fixed grimace, usually resulting from shock or                             nervousness. From Latin word meaning 'open mouth'.
scissor stance - standing leg cross. Various meanings very                             dependant on context and other signals.
self-motivating gestures - gestures signalling attempting to                             increase mental work-rate or activity, like tapping the head repeatedly or                             making circular motions with the hands, as if winding the body up.
show - (noun) - a 'show' is term recently adopted by body                             language commentators referring to a body language signal. The term is slang                             really, not technical. For terminology to become casually 'hip' in this way                             reflects the mainstream appeal of body language as a subject.
steepling - forming the fingers into a a pointed roof shape,                             often signalling elevated thinking or arrogance.
submission/submissive - describing body language which                             signals inferiority feelings towards another person. May be conscious and                             formal as in bowing, or unconscious as in slightly lowering the head and                             stance.
synchronizing - a technical term equating to mirroring or                             matching of body language between two people. Synchronizing is technically more                             appropriate since it naturally includes audible signals (voice pace and pitch,                             etc), whereas the mirroring term normally makes people think of visual signals                             only. The principles of synchronized body language definitely include audible                             signals in addition to physical visual signs. See mirroring .
tell - (noun) - a 'tell' - a slang term similar to 'a show' recently adopted by body language commentators which means a signal.
tie signs/signals - signals between lovers or intimate                             couples which discreetly convey messages to each other and which are not                             usually intended for anyone else.
 
body language references                         sources and books
Some of the older books listed here have since been republished by                             different publishers.
Willhelm Wundt, The Language of Gestures, 1921
Charles Darwin, The Expressions of the Emotions in Man and Animals,                             1872, Murray
Edward Twitchell Hall, The Silent Language, 1959, Doubleday
E T Hall, Proxemics - A Study of Man's Spatial Relationship, 1963,                             International Universities Press
E T Hall, The Hidden Dimension, 1966, Doubleday
J S Bruner and R Taquiri, The Perception of People, 1954, Handbook                             of Social Psychology, Addison Wesley
Robert Ardrey, The Territorial Imperative, 1966, Dell
Desmond Morris, The Naked Ape, 1967, Cape
Julius Fast, Body Language, 1971, Pan
D Hartland and C Tosh, Guide to Body Language, 2001, Caxton
P Ekman, E R Sorenson and W V Friesen, Pan-Cultural Elements in                             Facial Displays of Emotion, Science Vol 164, No 3875, 4 Apr 1969
C Boyes, Need to Know Body Language, 2005, Harper Collins
E Kuhnke, Body Language for Dummies, 2007, Wiley
Judi James, The Body Language Bible, 2008, Random House
Other significant and founding body language writers include:
Tinbergen, N; Watchtel, P L; Schlefen, A E; Ortega Y Gasset, J;                             Carpenter, C R; Cherry, C; Dittman, Parloff & Boomer; Frank, L K; Goffman,                             E; Kinzell, A F; Mehrabian & Wiener; Nielsen, G; Lorenz, K; Mahl, G F.
The author Roger E Axtell writes entertainingly and informatively                             about international body language and behaviours.
 
other audible signals
This section is not particularly scientific. It's more for interest                             and to make a general point:
Body language and the spoken words themselves do not provide all the                             clues, there are others.
Other audible signals (apart from the words themselves) also                             give lots of clues about feeling, mood, motive and personality.
Words themselves convey their own meaning, which is another subject,                             not least when we think about vocabulary, grammar, word-choice, etc. But what                             about all the other noises and silences from people's mouths?
Other audible signals which are not generally regarded as part of                             body language or non-verbal communications include for example:
pitch (the contant musical note of the voice)
pace (speed or rate of talking)
volume - from whispering to shouting
volume variation (how volume changes in phrases or longer                                 passages of speech)
intonation and 'musicality' (how the pitch changes according to                                 what is being said)
timbre (quality or sound of the voice, and how this changes)
emphasis (of syllables, words or phrases)
projection (where the voice is being projected to - for example                                 lots of projection, as if talking to a big group, or none, as if mumbling)
pauses, silences and hesitation
whistling
tongue clicking, teeth-sucking, raspberries, etc
Technically these signals are not body language or non-verbal                             communications, but all of these sounds (and silences) are quite different from                             the spoken words, and they can all convey more and/or different meaning                             compared to the spoken words themselves.
All of this audible signalling happens for a purpose. We might not                             easily know what the purpose is, but being aware of it is the start of being                             able to understand it better, in others, and possibly also in ourselves.
Commonly the more noticeable unnecessary signals are embellishments                             or defensiveness - a kind of showing-off or protection.
Other aspects can be more subtle indicators of social background or                             aspiration, and thereby of relationship and attitude towards other people.
These other audible signals represent a big and complex area which                             seems yet to have been researched and analysed to the extent that body language                             has. Also cultural differences are potentially influential, which hinders                             translation and specific interpretation.
Despite this, initially simply being aware of these signals will                             begin to shape an appreciation of their significance, and in many cases their                             underlying meanings.
Johari enthusiasts might enjoy                             seeking feedback and asking others about what their own signals mean, that is                             if you/they are aware of the behaviours.
Certain principles of graphology (handwriting analysis)                             are helpful in understanding how people use words and language in a wider                             sense. The style and nature of our written and vocal expressions inevitably                             provide a reflection of our feelings and personality.
 
I am grateful to Sandra McCarthy for her help in producing this                             guide to body language.
see also